tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post5409222851635183176..comments2023-10-20T08:32:14.040-04:00Comments on Heaving Dead Cats: The Secret DividesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12653141544095753595noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-90278569783973123802010-01-10T19:46:49.000-05:002010-01-10T19:46:49.000-05:00Dearest Neece:Thank you for your wonderful post ab...Dearest Neece:<br><br>Thank you for your wonderful post about my situation. I have been reading and editing a response that answers all your questions. When I came to HDC today and saw the title of this post, I felt rather like the squirrel whose tricked onto a spinning feeder - thrilled and nauseous. After reading through it, I am reassured I came to the right place with my inquiry. <br><br>I must admit that there is a huge obstacle to my ability to 'sit and wait' without trying to prove my sister wrong: I am an attorney. The idea that I may be unable to form a logical and convincing argument is alien to virtually every fiber of my being. The concept is as irreconcilable as Beethoven and deafness. <br><br>I hope this damning revelation will not hamper anyone who is willing to provide insight. That by revealing such a character flaw, I am demonstrating the truly exasperating nature of the issue. :) <br><br>"Ruth""Ruth"noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-90567062234741293202010-01-10T21:08:27.000-05:002010-01-10T21:08:27.000-05:00Hi Ruth,I'm looking forward to the answers to ...Hi Ruth,<br><br>I'm looking forward to the answers to your questions. Sorry for the nauseating feeling the post gave you. I understand what you're saying though.<br><br>It's also understandable that you want to prove your sister wrong. In my opinion that would be the most alienating thing you could do. Of course, that's just my opinion. Remember, you're not dealing with rational thinking. You're dealing with belief and dogmatism. There is no way to get through to someone who believes something. They don't want to be proven wrong. All you will do is push them away even further because their mind is made up and closed down.<br><br>If you really want a relationship with her that is sisterly, you will have to build that up (if she lets you) without attacking her beliefs. No one wants to have their beliefs attacked.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-1147912265132442102010-01-10T22:06:24.000-05:002010-01-10T22:06:24.000-05:00Neece: That kind of nausea is always a good thing ...Neece: <br><br>That kind of nausea is always a good thing - it means that I am on the right track!<br><br>I am still working on your questions, you should have it by tomorrow night. I wanted to clarify that while I used to get really peeved and challenge her, I have not done so for quite some time. I only meant that it is painfully difficult to go against my nature. <br><br>I know I will never be able to convince her of the absurdity of the lie of attraction; that is something she discover in her own time. I guess I am looking not to prove her wrong, per se, but to find a nonjudgmental way to express my feelings and have her see how this affects me. I want our relationship enough to play along, as hard as that is for me. It hurts there is no quid pro quo. <br><br>Thanks again!<br>Ruth"Ruth"noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-50087981365498368232010-01-11T01:29:05.000-05:002010-01-11T01:29:05.000-05:00Thanks for the clarification, Ruth. That's goo...Thanks for the clarification, Ruth. That's good to know that you don't challenge her as much as you used to. I have to say, I'm like you. When someone says something ridiculous (like I believe in UFO's, baby Jesus, etc) it takes all my effort not to lash out and tell them how silly they are being.<br><br>But that never helps the situation.<br><br>Don't forget, she might never discover the lie of attraction. It might be something she clings to for the rest of her life. Not everyone is willing or able to forgo believe for reason and reality. <br><br>I am not suggesting that you never get to express your feelings, or even gently confront her on the harmfulness of her new-found belief. I'm simply saying, to get things going in a positive direction, you will need to wait for awhile. You need a foundation of trust, acceptance and affection before the more challenging conversations take place.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-48381705791761361032011-02-01T12:48:20.000-05:002011-02-01T12:48:20.000-05:00It's really nice to see that other people stru...It's really nice to see that other people struggle with the same thing despite the tragedy of it as well. <br><br>I live with a guy who I had great fun with and that came off as really nice company. When I moved in, I was struggling with getting over the loss of a great girlfriend. He adviced me to watch The Secret. After a while I did, but I wasn't impressed. I didn't find it catchy one bit. Sure - a few things here and there were good points, but nothing out of the ordinary. <br>But he was genuinely sold. He asked if he could watch it with me. I was impressed by his concentration since he seems to be unable to concentrate for longer periods (which might explain why he buys this easy bogus and can't concentrate on other things). I was kind of offended that when I wanna show a DVD or listen to a CD with him he couldn't stay focused. But he could meditate for periods because The Secret said so. As time went he said that he would wanna live more accordingly to The Secret. But he couldn't concentrate enough to do so it seemed to me. But gradually he became more and more indoctrinated. <br><br>He became soooo! predictable. And friends started falling away. Now, the only friends that are left are those who are okay with getting preached The Secret, or those who don't focus themselfes and just come by to watch movies. <br><br>I'm glad I knew him before this, otherwise I'd be scared shitless. It's aaall! about The Secret now. If he's (finally) having a date, he's telling her off for not being positive if she tried to make conversation about topics like that her train was delayed etc.. He redecorated my room without permission and snapped books out of my shelf because he thought The Secret led him there. <br>A nice gesture to re-decorate the room - but crossing my limit as well. His parents are worried (he's turning 33 this year) and there are so many more details. <br>I wrote the lyrics for our band. But he wanted to check them because if didn't go along with The Secret they were useless. If we had to work hard on things and things didn't come easy, it wasn't within the teachings of The Secret and then the band was useless. <br><br>It's been... hm... soon to be 2 years now. I'm glad when I'm gonna move. But I'm also sad to leave a person to this dumpster of a belief system that is The Secret. <br><br>I've been thinking about letting the book "Bright-sided" (a criticism of LOA) lie around so that "The Secret" would lead him to it. But I don't know if it's too obvious? <br><br>What a waste of a nice person. I don't know if he'll ever get over it. I guess he was in a crisis already and that some of the things were in his person already? <br><br>It's just so repulsing to watch from the sideline that things are getting worse by the hour. Especially since discussing it with him would be futile. <br><br>Hope you understand my comment (I'm not English-speaking). The Secret has unfortunately come abroad. But fortunately, so has your blog! Thank youSummarizenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-30124342708264452112011-02-01T16:13:37.000-05:002011-02-01T16:13:37.000-05:00I think it would be a great idea to leave Bright-s...I think it would be a great idea to leave Bright-sided out for him to "find". The Secret will lead him to it, hopefully. That sounds so sad that such a nice guy has bought that garbage so completely. He's not alone though, millions of others have also drunk the Secret Kool-aid. <br>I have to say though, all it takes is a bit of critical thinking and seeing outside the little bubble he lives in. It's definitely possible. I used to believe something similar before the Secret existed. Positive Thinking is what it was called back then, but it's almost the same thing, only not quite so horrible and destructive. I started to realize that my thoughts don't leave my head, and that it's impossible for them to do so. Then I did some tests where I thought something negative and noticed no negative consequences. It took a month to really realize it was all ridiculous, but I finally did. Now I'm a complete skeptic. <br>So there is hope, but he has to be willing to listen to something besides the mindless, harmful indoctrination of the Secret.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/members/neece/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-11644513993272978112011-06-26T04:54:12.000-04:002011-06-26T04:54:12.000-04:00Thank you for your post about "The Secret&quo...Thank you for your post about "The Secret". The rubbish that is "The Secret" was instrumental in ending my 11 year relationship. My boyfriend and I lived together reasonably happily for 11 years. Meanwhile I was in a car accident and became disabled. Sometime after that he read "The Secret" and "The Law of Attraction" and decided that he deserved better than a "middle aged disabled woman" (charming, right?) and announced on a Sunday that he was leaving on that Tuesday. Just like that! I was devastated at the time (2 years ago) but am very happy now. In any case, I think this book made him think that my troubles were of my own doing (I made that car run over me!) and that he needed to think positive and find a better mate, etc. etc. Of course the real truth is probably that life with me had become harder due to my injuries and he was looking for an out. I now know I am far better off without such a person in my life. But I do believe that those books were the catalyst for his decision.Virginianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-12369246825199964382011-07-02T19:06:30.000-04:002011-07-02T19:06:30.000-04:00The SECRET is as diabolical as religious fundament...The SECRET is as diabolical as religious fundamentalism. Who is this c**t who wrote it? What puzzles me is how people believe this shit! Then, when you go looking for love or for "answers", one usually finds trouble...such is the case with this fucking book!Mariannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-38223486506216018952011-07-03T09:29:21.000-04:002011-07-03T09:29:21.000-04:00Marianne, I couldn't agree with you more. It m...Marianne, I couldn't agree with you more. It makes me as mad as you are. Maybe I should write a bit more about the founder/author of this insidious claptrap. Does that sound interesting?Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/members/neece/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-32786778276003524692011-07-04T06:47:51.000-04:002011-07-04T06:47:51.000-04:00That's horrible, Virginia. I hear this way too...That's horrible, Virginia. I hear this way too often. It's amazing that people can embrace a ridiculous belief so easily that lets them do the horrid things they end up doing. <br>I'm glad you're happy now.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/members/neece/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-82400480229695972552011-07-11T12:30:41.000-04:002011-07-11T12:30:41.000-04:00Neece & All:After getting the latest updates t...Neece & All:<br><br>After getting the latest updates to this post, I have been feeling a little better - at least I am not alone. <br><br>On a more positive, and dumbfounding, note: I had a recent visit with my mom. I decided to go home and surprise my sister while she was on a "visit". I wasn't sure she was really happy to see me at first, but when she hugged me and didn't let go for at least a full minute, I was hopeful. She came for this visit alone, no husband to reinforce her disdain of my life. We were polite at first, then started the "remember whens ...." it is nearly the anniversary of our father's passing. <br><br>We all went out to dinner and she drove. When she found a parking space more than a block away from the restaurant, she almost took it thinking there was not going to be anything in the lot available. I asked her to try, an she grudgingly agreed. We ended up with front row - 3 spaces from the door. I joked, "guess the universe was listening to me this time, huh?" She LAUGHED. Deep belly laugh until tears streamed down her face! "I guess it is pretty silly to think that the universe would deliver parking, isn't it?" When she said that I acted like I got pushed out of the car. <br><br>Maybe there is hope after all.<br><br>"Ruth""Ruth"noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-14315490229655291392011-07-11T12:51:15.000-04:002011-07-11T12:51:15.000-04:00Ruth, that's amazingly awesome! Yay! You have ...Ruth, that's amazingly awesome! Yay! You have given us all hope. :)<br>Thank you so much for coming back and sharing this with us.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/members/neece/noreply@blogger.com