tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post919178659190136972..comments2023-10-20T08:32:14.040-04:00Comments on Heaving Dead Cats: A Delicate SituationAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12653141544095753595noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-61498916672990962642010-12-31T12:21:22.000-05:002010-12-31T12:21:22.000-05:00Let me sum up the bare bones here...she's been...Let me sum up the bare bones here...she's been absent in your life for three years, until suddenly she's back and needs another fantasy fix. She's come to you, and doesn't respect your wishes when you tell her that you're not in the biz anymore. I'd be straight with her. What do you have to lose? The "friendship" of someone who only wants to use you for their fantasy fix when they have the itch? Honor yourself, your intelligence, your logic and your reason by being yourself. There is no reason to let this crazy person hold you hostage.Joenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-7034016541490553002010-12-31T12:28:51.000-05:002010-12-31T12:28:51.000-05:00I would not even bother with her. She'll go aw...I would not even bother with her. She'll go away again.Shelleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-76652063596304292362010-12-31T13:53:37.000-05:002010-12-31T13:53:37.000-05:00Tell her you're not into that any more. Like J...Tell her you're not into that any more. Like Joe says, be straight with her. Not much of a friend.Angie Dnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-32732965316742435842010-12-31T14:36:41.000-05:002010-12-31T14:36:41.000-05:00Be honest with her. I wouldn't be mean about ...Be honest with her. I wouldn't be mean about it. Just tell her your story. I believed a certain way years ago and now I don't and here's the reason why. What's the worst thing that could happen?Andrew Hallhttp://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-41847836747967730002010-12-31T15:13:55.000-05:002010-12-31T15:13:55.000-05:00I think I'd tell her that I didn't believe...I think I'd tell her that I didn't believe in it anymore - I'd try to keep it relatively short and sweet - and I'd end with an offer to explain how and why I stopped believing, if she was interested. I'd be cautious of giving her the whole skeptic spiel right off the bat, given that you've gone along pretending for a while, and because it might startle her and possibly put her on the defensive.NFQhttp://www.noforbiddenquestions.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-18490356475654400912010-12-31T18:30:59.000-05:002010-12-31T18:30:59.000-05:00I agree with the other posts. Just tell her you do...I agree with the other posts. Just tell her you don’t believe any more.Eric Haashttp://erichaas.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-1406147211679531352011-01-01T05:25:16.000-05:002011-01-01T05:25:16.000-05:00I agree with Joe, you have outgrown your spiritual...I agree with Joe, you have outgrown your spiritual community & value system, she has not. She will take away only what feels comfortable no matter what you say, so tell her as much as you think she can handle. Feeling guilty is human, but don't let guilt tie you someone who can't value you and your thoughts.Merrileenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-70445392232425074902011-01-01T06:40:20.000-05:002011-01-01T06:40:20.000-05:00You could tell her that you've grown out of th...You could tell her that you've grown out of that stuff and into something even better, but it doesn't sound like she'd be interested.<br><br>Why not continue doing reiki if it helps people? Placebo or not, it helps people to feel better.Davidnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-91292023548490571982011-01-01T10:03:11.000-05:002011-01-01T10:03:11.000-05:00Could be that the real issue here isn't skepti...Could be that the real issue here isn't skepticism vs faith, but your fear of confrontation. You may be trying to protect her feelings vs wanting to be open. Let her own her feelings and you own yours. She'll have her feelings regardless of what you do, correct? So the real decision you have to make is whether or not to continue the relationship (friendship). Don't allow yourself to be in the defensive position. This is your decision, and you aren't into the whole "healing hands", color therapy thing, etc. any longer.Angie Dnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-75279576096169017152011-01-01T11:39:25.000-05:002011-01-01T11:39:25.000-05:00Apologize for manipulating her psychologically, th...Apologize for manipulating her psychologically, that you didn't know how damaging your actions where at the time and you shouldn't have lead her on as you did.GMNightmarenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-24581907280959766762011-01-02T06:12:19.000-05:002011-01-02T06:12:19.000-05:00Thanks, Joe. That's great advice. :)Thanks, Joe. That's great advice. :)Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-71524882372823329232011-01-02T06:13:33.000-05:002011-01-02T06:13:33.000-05:00Right, Merrilee. I guess I still have a lot of gui...Right, Merrilee. I guess I still have a lot of guilt. Thank you very much! :)Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-10169801188641022752011-01-02T06:15:12.001-05:002011-01-02T06:15:12.001-05:00That's probably true, Shelley. If I don't ...That's probably true, Shelley. If I don't give her what she wants, I guess she has no need for me. Thanks very much!Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-24869105375875692342011-01-02T06:15:12.000-05:002011-01-02T06:15:12.000-05:00Ok, Angie. I agree. I know I have to be straight w...Ok, Angie. I agree. I know I have to be straight with her. You're right.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-66869734955634172292011-01-02T06:17:18.002-05:002011-01-02T06:17:18.002-05:00Thanks Andrew. Yeah, I can't be mean, but I do...Thanks Andrew. Yeah, I can't be mean, but I do have to be honest. The worst that could happen is she stops talking to me, which is not bad at all. Thank you very much!Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-78859945369802574922011-01-02T06:17:18.001-05:002011-01-02T06:17:18.001-05:00Great idea NFQ! Thank you very much!Great idea NFQ! Thank you very much!Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-87335696933328994752011-01-02T06:17:18.000-05:002011-01-02T06:17:18.000-05:00Thanks Eric. :)Thanks Eric. :)Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-413631661882547532011-01-02T06:23:02.001-05:002011-01-02T06:23:02.001-05:00Yes, science is something MUCH better, David! I...Yes, science is something MUCH better, David! I'm sure she won't be interested, but I do have to be honest.<br>Which is why I can't do reiki anymore. I can't lie to people for profit. It's simply a placebo effect. The problem with such sham "treatments" is that people think they are actually doing something and then forgo real science-based medicine.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-29839740542363339302011-01-02T06:23:02.000-05:002011-01-02T06:23:02.000-05:00Angie, you totally nailed it! Thank you so much! Y...Angie, you totally nailed it! Thank you so much! You're so right. Thank you! :)Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-58284232473930775912011-01-02T06:24:06.000-05:002011-01-02T06:24:06.000-05:00Thanks, GMN, I never wanted to manipulate her. In ...Thanks, GMN, I never wanted to manipulate her. In fact I felt manipulated by her. But that's a good point.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-69093428406374461922011-01-02T06:59:41.000-05:002011-01-02T06:59:41.000-05:00I didn't realize that you used to profit from ...I didn't realize that you used to profit from spiritual healing. Have you written about that?<br><br>IMO most people here are too hard on holistic treatments and way too easy on profit-based-science-based medicine, which depends on at least 60% mis-diagnosis and consists of treatments which have been proven to help particular symptoms while often providing numerous harmful side effects. I suppose that such a comment would fit better in a more-related post where I would anticipate rigorous arguments. ;)<br><br>Well, I hope that your conversation with your friend goes well! :DDavidnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-45683860521081414862011-01-02T07:38:32.000-05:002011-01-02T07:38:32.000-05:00I disagree, David. I think if a holistic treatment...I disagree, David. I think if a holistic treatment can pass the muster of scientific study, then it simply becomes medicine, and gets standardized and regulated for safety. <br><br>Holistic medicine that shows no results beyond placebo is harmful because it keeps people from using real, science based medicine.<br><br>Holistic treatments, if they do anything, are unregulated, not standardized, and also have side effects and interactions with real medicine. This is a very common misconception. <br><br>Sometimes actual science based medicine is harsh, but it is usually effective. Real medicines aren't magic, so there are side effects, sure. But at least they're doing something that is measurable besides the placebo effect. And people get better every day taking them. <br><br>Science is not perfect. Humans are involved so there are mistakes. But science is self-correcting and always improving. It's the best tool we've got.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-16707695885092340462011-01-02T09:59:13.000-05:002011-01-02T09:59:13.000-05:00Neece, If you simply look at the harmful drugs tha...Neece, If you simply look at the harmful drugs that have made the news you will see that medicine is often harmful and does not face enough regulation to ensure safety. Many of those involved in regulation have turned out to be profitting from the sale of what they were supposed to regulate. I'm skeptical of statistics, but I've seen studies showing that doctors mis-diagnose ailments more often than not. The drugs that may help some people are more likely to hurt those who are mis-diagnosed than a placebo would. I love science. I love medicine. But I'm convinced that we are way over-medicated and under-loved. I've also seen impressive results from reiki, accupuncture and homeopathy. Now for my logical fallacies (I'm sure that I will regret posting this, but I have thick skin--have fun): I sent a friend's son to a kinesiologist for allergy treatment. He had been having seizures and had tumours growing on the back of his head. The kinesiologist was able to detect a corn allergy. It turned out that the medication prescribed by doctors was corn-based. When he got off of corn, he got well. At my recommendation, the kinesiologist went to school on eliminating allergies. He later treated the boy for corn. The boy no longer reacts to corn (these treatments do often require periodic re-treatment, however). I hope that these treatements will be tested scientifically. Unfortunately, they appear to be more of an art than a science and like medicine are vulnerable to human error. Though not as rigorous as what might be required to test a new drug, we have done our own blind studies with strength tests and homeopathics from practitioners and have observed 100% accuracy.Davidnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-63948951271363659092011-01-02T10:55:42.000-05:002011-01-02T10:55:42.000-05:00David, I see you have firm beliefs about this issu...David, I see you have firm beliefs about this issue and I'm sure whatever I say will make no difference. I will simply point out a few things:<br><br>1. You are using confirmation bias and cherry picking by saying that drugs hurt people and the evidence is in the news. The news only reports the bad stuff. It doesn't report the billions of lives saved and improved daily around the world due to science based medicine. That's a strawman argument as well, I believe.<br><br>2. Yes, doctors are fallible and make mistakes, drug companies are profit-driven, not patient driven, also because they are composed of humans who have less than altruistic motives. That being said, refer to the first point I made. It is a false dichotomy to say that holistic practitioners are purely altruistic and never make mistakes. I could refer to the news of people dying horrible deaths due to holistic medicine and non-medical practitioners making medical decisions for people. This is cherry picking on my part as well, so take it as it is. <br>My friend is a medical transcriptionist for a cancer center. At least once a month he does a report for a person who was diagnosed with treatable cancer, who decided to try alternative treatments, then when they invariably failed, they came back and it was too late and they died.<br><br>3. Your story about the boy and the corn allergy is anecdotal evidence and apocryphal. Unless it's documented it has to be taken with a huge grain of salt. Coincidences happen every day all over the world, millions of them. People call them miracles. They aren't. They are just statistical events that are improbable but still possible. <br><br>4. 100% accuracy? Were they double blinded tests? Kinesiology has been shown to be simply the psychomotor effect, if I recall. When proper double blinded tests are done, it has never done better than chance. It's meaningless.<br><br>5. Science is a very good tool (not perfect but self-correcting) to show what is valid and what is not. Alternative treatments are alternative because they are either untestable or don't stand up to rigorous scientific study. They are therefore ineffective and simply divert people from real medicine that actually works and is tested.Neecehttp://www.heavingdeadcats.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2352648376305239677.post-79860370805875640142011-01-02T14:17:15.000-05:002011-01-02T14:17:15.000-05:00I did not intend to imply that either medical or a...I did not intend to imply that either medical or alternative practitioners were more altruistic or made fewer mistakes. As for the allergy anecdote, I have many. BTW: The boy's medical doctor confirmed the corn issue after the fact. I don't call these things miracles, but I'm not certain of exactly how the treatments work. Most of us are not certain of exactly how drugs work either. I have done several double-blind studies with strength tests and allergy treatments (I also noticed that in James Randi's test that I saw that they performed the procedures incorrectly). I do my best to test these things for myself without being too skeptical of the general medical or alternative community (though I am still more skeptical of alternative treatments in general).Davidnoreply@blogger.com