Great Reason or Atheist or Science Quotes Needed

I need your help. I'm going to church soon with my Religion of the Month Club (a subgroup of Morgantown Atheists) and I have the idea of putting an envelope in the collection plate when it comes around. In the envelope I want a few really AWESOME quotes from brilliant people. Preferably not nasty, but very smart. I am asking for your suggestions! Which reason/atheism/brilliant/freethinker quotes should I put in the envelope?


  1. Here are a couple that I have in my random quote generator on my blog that I think are the sort of thing you're aiming for. Let me know if I am way off-base and should recalibrate.

    “Not believing in God is easy — you can’t prove a negative, so there’s no work to do. You can’t prove that there isn’t an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word 'elephant' includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?” -Penn Jillette

    “Now, what’s the difference between an invisible, incorporeal, floating dragon who spits heatless fire and no dragon at all? If there’s no way to disprove my contention, no conceivable experiment that could count against it, what does it mean to say that my dragon exists?” -Carl Sagan

    “Name an ethical statement or action, made or performed by a person of faith, that could not have been made or performed by a nonbeliever. I have since asked this question at every stop and haven’t had a reply yet.” -Christopher Hitchens

  2. "We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." Richard Dawkins

    Ok, now for my own quotes:

    "Great men don't need an imaginary friend in the sky."

    "Amen is just another way of saying: GET IT?!"

    "It's probably true men of the cloth actually fear knowledge and science in general. That's why they stick to one book. If they read a 1000, they may discover the truth and become atheists".

    "Why is the church always prominent on stage or drawing attention at life's most important personal moments: baptising when you are born, when you get married and when you die. And every sunday they tell you what to do and what to think. And you feel... free?"

    "You just have to look at these huge intimidating churches, with their splendor in marble, gold and large stained glass windows to realize religion is very dangerous to the individual."

  3. I'm curious what if anything you think will be accomplished by this, but I'm happy to suggest a quotation or two.

    "Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense."
    Carl Sagan

    "Nothing is more dangerous than a dogmatic worldview - nothing more constraining, more blinding to innovation, more destructive of openness to novelty."
    Stephen Jay Gould

  4. You should be able to find everything you need here.

  5. If this is your God, he's not very impressive. He's got so many psychological problems; he's so insecure. He demands worship every seven days. He goes out and creates faulty humans and then blames them for his own mistakes. He's a pretty poor excuse for a supreme being.
    -Captain James T. Kirk; Star Trek: The God Thing"

    All priests dread the advance of science. They preach bigotry and fanaticism at the expense of human reason. A band of dupes and imposters, they sponser ignorance, absurdity,untruth,charlatanism, and falsification."
    -Thomas Jefferson"

    History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help." But like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it."
    - Lazurus Long

    "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."
    - Blaise Pascal

    "Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration - courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth."
    - H. L. Mencken

  6. "Christianity prevails, because deprogramming is such hard work!"

    "Religion provides the solace for the turmoil that it creates."

  7. I just happen to have these two handy:

    The doubts of an honest man contain more moral truth than the profession of faith of people under a worldly yoke.
    -Ximenes Doudan, journalist (1800-1872)

    I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
    When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
    -Stephen Roberts, database architect (b. 1967)

  8. friends don't let friends drive to church

  9. I don't know the source unfortunately, but this is the quote I hold on my facebook page and I love every word of it:

    "Morality is doing what's right regardless what you're told; Religion is doing what you're told regardless of what's right."

    A few more of my favorites:

    "What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof." (Christopher Hitchens)

    "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality." (George Bernard Shaw)

    "Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." (Isaac Asimov)

    As well, give this a try:

  10. The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality. ~ George Bernard Shaw

    Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits. ~ Dan Barker

    To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. ~ Isaac Asimov

  11. Thank you, everyone! These are all awesome! :D You ROCK! :D

    I can't believe I have to go to church this Sunday. I feel nauseous about it. Yuck! I mean, Hallelujah Praise Jesus! Pass the Vino!