I'm Now A True Believer of Intelligent Design!

I've recently purchased a very handy book that explains Intelligent Design so well that I must abandon my godless heathen ways and start believing. Praise be to my wonderful friend Dan who shared this deeply moving tome with me! May the Intelligent Designer bless you and actually answer your prayers!

I am sure you'll want to get this great book too. It's so easy to read, which is what I like. No big fancy words or concepts. It's called The Intelligent Design Coloring Book by Pastor Brett Pirkle. It's not just a coloring book, it also has other activities in at as well! What more could you ask for?

Be honest, wouldn't you rather read a fun book with pictures to color and "science glasses" to cut out and wear, than try to muddle through some dry old book like God Is Not Great by some guy who uses big words in a foreign language like British? I knew you'd agree.

Need more convincing? How about the picture of the front cover? This book is blissfully 100% Fact Free! What more can you ask for? Who needs boring old facts when you can just have Faith?

You're still not convinced? Boy, you sure are a Doubting Thomas. The Intelligent Designer is going to make you burn in Hell for all eternity if you don't start believing without evidence. You don't want that, do you? Do You?! No, I didn't think so!

Ok, here is an excerpt:
Faith and Science

Some people are not blessed by the grace of the Intelligent Designer because they don't have faith. It's sad. Just imagine what it would be like to see the world through their science eyes. Cut out these science glasses (on the next page, the "lens" parts are hypnotic spirals - you don't cut that part out), tie a string around them, and put them on.

Now imagine a world without faith. Where people don't have any houses of worship. They don't have Bibles or Korans or Sunday school. They just walk around having fun, drinking, dancing, eating, watching TV and reading whatever interests them, rather than the Bible. It's very sad. It's okay to cry for them.

Now take off the glasses and open your eyes. Do you see the light? Can you feel the Intelligent Designer's grace washing over your soul like fabric softener relaxing a stiff pair of underpants in the laundry?

The grace of the Intelligent Designer, that relaxed fit of your soul, is only available to people who have faith in Him more than in science or their own thoughts or interests.

Pastor Pirkle is very thorough in this coloring book. This will answer all of your questions simply and effectively! He easily tackles such issues as:

  • The right faith and the wrong faith

  • Faith and Science

  • Intelligent Design and Evolution (most excellent)

  • Homosexuality

  • The power of faith and prayer

  • Mutually exclusive prayers (even this advanced topic is handled in a way that is easy for the youngest child!)

  • Questions from other boys and girls

  • Murder

  • How people and monkeys are different

  • How breasts can be used for good or evil

  • Free Will! (you'll love it!)

  • The creation of man

  • A whole advanced section on Relations (so you won't have to go to sex ed class in school, it's all in this great book! You should be home schooled anyway.)

  • The Great Tribulation as foretold in Revelations

If that doesn't convince you, then your heart has been hardened by the Intelligent Designer. He obviously wants you to burn in Hell with all the other godless heathens, and anyone who doesn't worship him just exactly as described in His Holy Book. You are truly damned to eternal suffering. So you might as well relax and live it up in this life!

Oh, one more thing, if you think this is a great book, and if you have any faith and sense, you will, go to Amazon and "like" it, and maybe even give it a review. I just wrote one, so it will be up soon.


  1. w00t! Awesome!

    I want to know how breasts can be used for evil. WTF! ;-P

  2. Thanks for recommending this book to me, Dan. You are so awesome. My whole life is changed for the better! I don't have to think anymore! No more pesky facts! Now I just have FAITH! :P

    I'm sure you can think of lots of ways to test the evil/good of breasts. Oh wait, that would be science. Well, turn to your Good Book, Dan. It will tell you how breasts can be used for evil. :P LOL!

  3. That link doesn't work, Johnny.

  4. LOL! Try it again, and read the error...


  5. LOL! That was great, thanks! I totally didn't read it the first time. :P