Spam For Christ

I found this in my inbox of my Heaving Dead Cats email yesterday and I thought it was so odd I wanted to share it with you. Obviously this person has no idea that I'm a card carrying godless heathen.

I like how he gets so specific about what he wants. I would think beggars shouldn't be so picky. Do you think people will actually do it? I bet they will if they are christians and feeling charitable. Which is sad. People need clean water, healthy food and decent shelter, and then they need education, not god and superstition.

Look where he lives. He says there is hunger and crisis, but their god keeps them fed and safe. Why doesn't god feed everyone? Why does god let so many people suffer? Anyway, here it is, in its entirety. Pretty ballsy, if you ask me!
Dear Friends in Christ,

I greet you out there in Jesus Lovely name. I am the way, the truth and the life, no man cometh to the Father but by me John 14:6. Jesus Christ is our salvation! I was searching for a study material when I came across your email and convinced you are a Christian.

Please do not be angry at this letter and undermine me because I am reaching you through the internet. God led me to your email and I know I’m blessed having to know you. I am a member of Living Faith Church. By His grace I’m a believer born again and blood bought( blood of Jesus). I am married with six children. I have a great passion doing the work of the master especially now I work on my own having not to be disturbed like when I was working 10 hours in the clerk office work.. I am not rich in this wordly riches but rich spiritually in Christ. I came to know Christ in 1984 and since then serve Him with commitment. I live in an area where there is much hunger and crisis but the Lord keeps us from them all. Our church is a small church with about thirty people. I am the church secretary as well as Adult Sunday school teacher. As you can see I can speak and understand English well as we are British colonised country.

I am writing you because I need your help for bibles. Bibles are costly here and many Christians do not have bibles. Most get theirs from people in other countries when they can reach to other Christians there. My friend told me to go internet where I can get some to help and I know God has directed me to you. My wife and I needs the super giant print bibles which has very large print and we need this due to reading difficulty. Please kindly send us two copies. Also I’m using this medium to request for additional 6 super giant print bibles for the aged ones in the Sunday school class. king James Version would be preferable as we mostly use this during service. If other version is what you have we would appreciate them. The bibles could also be used bibles as long as the pages are correct we would use them. All bibles are needed in English and please you can send them through registered or insured air-mail through post office. Post office EMS post is also very fast and safe. Please kindly help us and sow this seed to our lives here. Where a seed is sown, harvest will surely come and it will come to you. I would prayerfully wait to hear from you.

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

In His service

Imalele  Izekor
My address is
80 Eghosa Street, NIPST-IPOB 3023,


  1. :::VOMIT:::

    ...that is all.

    Thank you.

    -Still Waiting For My Freaky Jesus E-Mail.

  2. SCAM

  3. I get a lot of SPAM like this too. It sort of sad that the sort of person most likely to fall for this crap is already exploited by their beliefs. Seriously - you can't swing (or heave!) a cat without bumping into a bible. How likely is it that a Christian who wants a bible doesn't have access to one already?

  4. Wow, thanks Cynic. I never heard of the Nigerian Bible Scam.

  5. I think you're right, Johnny.

  6. More like Scam for Christ. Hadn't heard of this one in particular, but I always just assume it's a scam, b/c as far as I know, all the legitimate ones are already sponsored through some bigger organization. It would be another splinter group, or an out-and-out scam.

  7. Yeah, I assumed it was a scam too. I just couldn't figure out how it would work.

  8. /Me thinks we should send a book about quantum theory! That'll teach them!

  9. LOL, Jobson! Or we could send a book by Dawkins, Hitchens or Harris! :D