Hoppy Easter, Heathens!

Let's be honest, being an atheist on a religious holiday isn't very much fun. I have to behave myself around family. Half of them are great people, but the other half are fundamentalist bible-thumping hypocrites. It's tedious at the best of moments, torturous at the worst. So here is some easter humor for you:



If the zombie easter bunny attacked you, I'd feel eggstra sad.
zombie_easter_bunny

Jesus Christ, King of the World, the Coming Resurrection, Sunday March 11, 2pm.... CANCELLED


jesus_christ_cancelled


Me so thorny... LOL!


me so thorny


Thanks for dying Jesus, this candy is AWESOME!


thanks for dying jesus


Let's talk about this need to be accepted by everyone.


let's talk about this need to be accepted by everyone


He's no good to be dead, LOL


no good to me dead, lol


Even Jesus hates you.


even_jesus_hates_you


The Passion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


fsm-the passion


BRB, LOL, ROFL, WTF?, OMFG!, Nom Nom!, Woot!


loltheistwtfcrucifneece


The Last Peep Supper


peep-last-supper

12 comments:

  1. Happy Zombie Jesus Day! I hope you didn't get any of those evil Easter Eggs.

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html

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  2. and a happy zombie jesus day to you too!

    http://www.demotivatorblog.com/wp-content/uploads/yapb_cache/mhyn8km5i2zb.zzgj79pkdiosgscokcc40kkg.ap2qhjyqp08cgc0c80ss4cco4.th.jpeg

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  3. Oh I read about that. No, I avoided eating any of Lucifer's Testicles, hence preserving my purity.... Oh wait, I'm still a damned godless heathen. Thank GOD for that! LOL!
    Thanks, Buffy! :D

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  4. thanks, Antimattr. I almost included that one, but thought my list was long enough. It's a classic though. :P

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  5. Thanks for the great cartoons. "Me so thorny" especially appealed to my sick sense of humor. You also left out the classic news flash: "Easter canceled--they found the body!" and the bunny on the cross, but you're right, the list could easily go on and on for many pages.

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  6. I feel a real loss of what was in the past a nice holiday......jelly beans and chocalate and a religious theme that could be taken as metaphorical and hopeful....uplifting......but given my learning of early christian history,the understanding that many zealots want no part in metaphor or real history-study,requiring revised understanding.....and noting how many/most christians are OK with the literal interpretations.....Easter ,now is a great big example of duplicity and ignorance.....hard for me to enjoy that...and makes the family get together bitter sweet.......such a loss,a change from the warm fuzzy days of bunnies and baskets.........sigh.............

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  7. You're welcome, Jeshua. :D Yeah, I just picked some good ones. There are so many easy ways to make fun of religion, I couldn't put them all in. :P

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  8. I understand what you're saying, Rev Tim. Loss of innocence is always bittersweet. But I'd much rather understand and be informed than be ignorant and blindly hopeful about a myth.
    The good thing is, you can still have your jelly beans, bunnies and chocolate without the lies! :D
    Plus, the world is a wonderful place all on its own. We really have so much to fascinate us and be awed by without resorting to fairy tales, IMHO.

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  9. Yeah, Neece- I prefer truth over comfort too.
    So... which part of the chocolate bunny do you eat first? I go for the ears, every time.

    And with regard for how wonderfully awesome the world is... I went to China with my sweetie a few years ago (she's originally from there...) and at several restaurants they had shrimp, which in and of itself isn't that strange. But the shrimp! I had never seen anything like them before. They were thick in the middle and narrow at both ends and they had more legs than you can shake a stick at and these weird mouths that looked like they could seriously do some damage. They would be monstrous if they were as big as a lobster- seriously they looked like aliens.

    I think it's so odd that people need weird superstitions and cling to false myths when there's so much amazing real world stuff that you might not ever see in your lifetime. The size of the world is amazing and there's so many real things that are stranger and cooler than most of the invented stuff... Yeah, I'm in that kind of a mood this morning.

    Life is strange and cool enough without believing in books written by desert nomads thousands of years ago.

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  10. I always start with the face of the chocolate bunny. That way I can't hear it scream when I eat the rest of it. :P

    The world is awesome! You're right, we don't need magic and angry old myths when the natural world is amazing enough.

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  11. I really think this should be taken off the internet. That's the problem people don't fear God like that should. But you will fear him when you wake up in hell. God is not a man of fun and games. The bible tells us we should fear God with all our heart mine and soul. That's why the world in the condition it's in now, everyone make a markery out of God but cleave close to satan as they master. Lord forgive you for the stupidness of the picture with the Jesus with his middle finger sticking up, (saying I hate you) Thank God I know this picture is not God but it's the image of a man. But when you come to die you going to need the savor to deliver your soul...Shame on you for doing such evil...

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  12. If your god is real, he's not a deity I'd worship anyway. He's an angry, jealous (very human) god of hate, murder and vengeance. No thanks!

    This is how I live my life:
    "Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." Marcus Aurelius (attributed)

    And free speech is not evil. Having a sense of humor isn't evil either. It's just a funny picture. If you don't like it, you don't have to look at it.

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