I just reactivated my Facebook account. (please befriend me, if you like! I'm Neece Campione over there. Just let me know you're from here!) So much of my family seems to only converse by Facebook these days, so I gave in and finally went back to it. If you can't beat 'em.... Oh jeez... I just got a fever and reactivated my Twitter account too (ZeNeece over there) oh the madness!ANYHOO... where was I? Oh, yeah. Facebook and family. What's the deal with everyone being so god this, jesus that lately? And they're so in-my-face about it. I am pretty sure they all know I'm an atheist. Where's the respect? Why can't they tone it down? It's incredibly - dare I say it - offensive to me to have to be bombarded with this sheeple thinking every day. My friends are all atheists (how interesting, don't you think? LOL), but the family... they're unbearable. In the last week, every conversation with them has involved their invocation of their holy lord and savior, all to my irritation.
Now, I know you will probably disagree with me, but I haven't said a word to any of them. I've politely ignored the pleas that I pray for them or the requests for a miracle to save them from their bad situations (which they got themselves into ... sans god). Being on Facebook really has it in my face even more. They want to chat with me all day and it seems that the invocations to god come fast and furious. It's maddening. Or the stuff they leave on their pages - it's like swimming in a pool of religious hallmark cards, and all the papercuts that would cause.
I know that this is my fault. I've kept my mouth shut all these years and now they just walk all over me. One of them actually gets really frustrated and snippy with me when I say happy holidays instead of merry christmas. She goes on and on about putting the christ back in christmas all through december. Unbearable. Oh, I should mention, 98% of these family members are in-laws. Yeah, that's probably important, isn't it?
So, I feel like I've reached a crossroads. Granted, it's my fault for indulging them for so long. But how do I restore my sanity now? Do I say, 'HEY, you are all idiots! There's no invisible sky daddy!" Ok, that's a bit harsh. Um, do I post pro-atheist stuff all over my facebook page? Hmm, that's so passive aggressive, and easy for them to ignore, which would leave me where I am now.
I want to be nice and respectful. But no one is respecting me. I'm so sick of their god being thrown in my face all the time. I have a feeling that most of them will be offended by any little thing I do or say, then will pointedly ignore that it was said, and just shout jesus-isms from the rooftops even louder.
So I'm asking for your help. Like I said, I am pretty sure most of them already know I'm an atheist. I give them respect but get none in return. How do I get some sanity back? Is it even possible? Or do I have to just become a hermit in a shack in the woods, and get myself a nice old typewriter? I'm so frustrated!
...Ask them to tone it down?
ReplyDeleteNo need to make enemies, why not just indicate that their actions are making it difficult for you to simply "live and let live?"
That's a tough one for me to relate to. My mother is very religious, but knows my viewpoint and really doesn't bring it up at all. No other family members do, either. I have some cousins that are pretty highly religious, but I only see them once a year or so and religion has never been a topic of discussion at those gatherings.
ReplyDeleteI'd have to go along with Jaren L and just ask them to tone it down... preferably one at a time rather than to all as a group. It would be easier to personalize it that way, which might be important if you want to minimize the potential for someone to take offense.
Good luck, though. I'll pray for you. ;-P
As long as they don't post the god stuff in your wall, I don't see reason to take action. I understand it's disgusting to have their stuff popping in you wall with all the god stuff. If you want to "counterattack" you might want to put some funny atheist links, like those of Jesus and Mo. Give an image of a happy atheist, otherwise your deluded in-laws might think of you as the stereotypical angry atheist, or worse, feel offended and play the victim card. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jaren, I'll try that, if I can get the nerve. :P
ReplyDeleteThanks Dan, I'll try. Like I told Jaren, I have to get the nerve to do it. But I think you're right, talking to them individually is the best way to go. I'm glad you seem to have it easy with your family! :D
ReplyDeleteThanks Diego. You're right, if it's not directed at me, I feel no need to do anything about it. It's when they come right at me that I get frustrated. I love your idea of posting happy atheist stuff. That's brilliant! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYou know, you can unfriend them and they won't even know. Or you can block them so you don't get those things.
ReplyDeleteI don't think asking them to tone it down is going to do much for you, unfortunately.
It's sad when people use their freedom of religion for their religion only.
ReplyDeleteYou have my deep respect for not saying anything back. I don't think it matters if you do say anything, like you said, they will probably not listen and only double their efforts.
Can you block these people from your facebook?
Or just stay away from this facebook account and create a new account for real friends only.
Good luck!
You can easily set stuff up on what pops up in the news feed so you don't have to hear that junk. Also, you said that you were pretty sure that they knew, do you know that they know for sure? Making it more explicit that you are an atheist might be a good idea. Oh, and I do like the idea about showing the "Happy Atheist" side, and yes, the occasional link to an atheist site is a good idea. Also, I occasionally post links to articles from mainstream news like CNN etc about the crazy shit people do in the name of religion... it irritates my girlfriend so much.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't hide your (un)beliefs but you don't have to over promote them either. Just be you and let them deal with it just as you have had to deal with them. Also, remember that you will never, ever, in an Earth's age of 6 thousand years change what they believe or talk any sense into them. Don't even bother lest you offend their sensitive sensibilities. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have a sneaking suspicion that asking them to tone it down will actually get them riled up and more vocal. Unfortunately I think they'd notice if I disappeared or banned them since the 2 main ones are my sisters-in-law who want to talk to me every day. :(
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sven. I don't know. I think I just have to let it be. I can't block them because they are my husband's sisters. That would be really awkward, I think. But it's an idea I can keep in the back of my mind. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThanks for telling me this Blak Thundar. I think I figured out how to do that today. And you're right, I am assuming they know more than being really positive about it. And yeah, I really like the happy atheist idea too. I think all atheists would really help their image by doing that. Good advice!
ReplyDeleteGood advice, Reggie. Thanks
ReplyDeleteI thought this article by Nica Lalli was pretty funny.
ReplyDeletehttp://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2009/05/6_ways_to_tell_your_family_you_no_longer_believe_in_god.html