Yet Another Experiment

Last December if you had asked me about my friends, I would have told you they were all nonbelievers of some persuasion or another. But back then I ran into a fellow blogger who is a devout Catholic. Roxane wrote about me and I felt obliged to write back. Instead of getting into a "blog war" we decided to take our conversation privately to email and have been writing each other back and forth ever since.

Now I would call her a friend. Do I understand her worldview? Does it make sense to me? No, it really doesn't. But she seems like a good person, kind and compassionate. With Roxane, I've been learning to see that there are religious people who aren't like the media stereotypes that make me apoplectic with impotent indignation.

Interestingly, in this same time period I've also come to see several family members that are also moderately religious to seriously devout in a new light. I've engaged them as well, and it has really expanded my perspective of people who are so diametrically opposed to how I view the world. It's been eye-0pening to say the least.

Last week Roxane got a crazy idea that she and I should co-write a blog. Nothing intense, just a weekly joint post. She thought I'd say no, but I surprised her and said yes immediately. So we started AtheistCatholic.com and today was our first post.

In the past couple of days I've told a few of my friends about what I'm doing. I've gotten mixed responses. Some people said I'm wasting my time. Others thought it was a good idea. First I should probably explain the goal of this new experiment. Because that is most definitely what it is. It might not work out, but I'm willing to give it a good ol' college try.

We want to share some of our discussion publicly, and have people join our conversation, mainly about our worldviews. It's not a place for debate or attacking the opposing team. It's more about coming to hopefully understand each other, and maybe even learn more about ourselves in the process. I've done that with Roxane already so I want to share that insight and hopefully get even more from the interactions we have over there.

One more thing. I am not being an accommodationist here. This isn't about compromising and bending over backward to the religious worldview. As you know, I have very strong opinions about naturalism/atheism and religion. But, this is about people getting along, being friends despite opposite viewpoints, and learning about others and ourselves.

If you're interested in joining the conversation, head over there and say hi. Just please be courteous. This is about building bridges, not isolating ourselves.

Atheists Expressing Sympathy

I found a site called Sympathy 101 for Atheists and I thought I'd share it with you. Dealing with death can be extremely painful and sad, but it happens to all of us eventually. As atheists, most of the people we know are probably religious. How can we be genuine and honest and still be sympathetic to our religious loved ones when someone dies?

Atheists are often seen as cold because we don't have faith. We see death as an end to our lives, end of story. Religious people see death as a transition to something greater.  But we feel pain and emotion and loss just as much as anyone else. I think it might even be harder for atheists to lose a loved one than a religious person because they have hope (albeit false) that they will see their beloved in the afterlife while the godless know that death is final and there will not be any reunions.

So, how can we express our sympathies to someone who has lost a loved one while still maintaining our integrity and honesty? Here are some examples from the site:

Recognize the loss and express sorrow. If you knew the deceased, express your shared loss.

• "I'm so sorry for your loss."


• "I was sad to hear of his death."


• "It seems so unfair."

Express your appreciation of the deceased by relating positive ways the person affected your life or the life of the grieving friend or loved one.

• "She made the world a better place with all she did."


• "Every time your dad called, your face lit up."

Talk about how your friend or loved one made the deceased person's life better.

A Delicate Situation

As you may know, I used to unquestioningly believe in the power of "energy". I became an atheist long before I became a skeptic. I still "knew" that there was an energy force in the universe, that we reincarnated after death, that there was justice in the form of karma, and that people could be healed by energy.

I never had any reason to doubt my beliefs. In fact, I had a lot of selective bias that showed I was pretty good at giving readings (I didn't know it but I was good at warm and cold readings), and I was very good at doing energy healings. People told me they felt better just talking to me. Now I know that just paying attention to people can be help someone feel better. I did reiki healing which is very comforting. I would pay a lot of attention to a person and really listen to them compassionately. The placebo effect did the rest.

Long before I discovered skepticism I heard something about the power of suggestion, so without knowing I was doing science (roughly) I tested out the claim that energy healing is all about just making people feel cared for and is no better than placebo. I "turned off" my healing hands (reiki) several times and people still thanked me and told me I gave them a wonderful healing.

That's when I started getting out of it all. I realized I was just doing therapy for people, and that it was psychological and not "magical" so I gracefully extricated myself from the spiritual community.

I had many friends in the spiritual community back then. Most of them stopped talking to me when I stopped giving readings and healings. One woman, we'll call her Barbara, kept asking me for readings. She would call me all the time, every few days, asking for advice. I am horrible at confrontation, so after trying to tell her I didn't do readings anymore, I broke out the cards and went ahead and tried to help her. I did my best, but I started to feel more and more uncomfortable as time went on.

Letting the Holiday Pendulum Come to the Middle

I like things in balance. I like moderation. I don't always eat in moderation, but I understand I'd probably be happier if I did. I know we can't always be balanced, of course, but sometimes the middle ground is a nice, mellow place to be.

As you know, I don't talk about politics, but if you asked me what I am, I'd probably label myself some sort of moderate. I think both extremes are unhealthy. When you start talking about diets where something is given up, I think moderation is a much more realistic goal.

Certainly there are areas where denial of something is for the best, where something like alcohol or cigarettes are completely harmful (alcohol is not completely harmful to most people, but to someone who can't control their intake, then it is definitely a serious problem).

Anyway, what am I rambling on about? Well, I was raised in a traditional dysfunctional christian household with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Even after I shed the heavy dead albatross of religion and became a godless heathen, I still put up a tree, gave christmas cards and gifts, and had christmas dinners with family.

Then a couple of years ago I completely swung the other way. I ditched the tree and decorations, told people I'd rather just spend time with them during the holidays than exchange gifts or cards (thereby abandoning the stress, guilt and huge expense), and basically just went to family dinners (well, can you blame me? Good food should never be forsaken!)

But a friend's status update on Facebook a few minutes ago reminded me that maybe my little black cindered grinch heart is still beating after all. My friend merely said that he was getting ready to celebrate Festivus and I thought, "Oh, that sounds like fun. A secular celebration!" So I don't have to seem like such a scrooge. I can just say I celebrate something different.

Unexpected Friendship With A Palin Lover

Sometimes you can learn something when you least expect it.

My sister-in-law (we'll call her Martha) has been dating this guy who we'll call Steve. I met him the night that she and Steve were reacquainted at the high school reunion last year. It was one of those big affairs where 10 years of classes were invited. Anyway she and Steve have basically been dating ever since. She hasn't had the best luck with guys in the past but she's head over heels in love with him and is very happy, which is good.

The night I met Steve, I mentioned to him that I was reading a great book called Microcosm: E. Coli and the New Science of Life. It's a fantastic book that I highly recommend. Butch was there and chimed in that it's all about evolution, which it is, in a very cool, observable way. Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed. Scoffed! I didn't want to get into it since we were heading home but I immediately found myself feeling cold toward him.

So, when Martha brought Steve to a family BBQ the next day I was polite but really didn't have anything to say to him. He seemed nice enough though.

Time went on and I learned from him that he likes Sarah Palin. He thinks she's got some good ideas. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth there) Martha told me he's a full on conservative republican but that they don't talk about politics. As I do with most people, I was also refraining from political  - or religious - talk with him as well.

To this day we've stayed clear of those two topics. But we've gone out to dinner quite a few times, hung out at family gatherings, and he even invited us over to watch some MMA on a channel we don't get next month (Woot!) He's a genuinely nice guy. He's not stupid by any means, can hold a conversation, has a good sense of humor, and seems to be making Martha extremely happy.

Why am I talking about this? Well, to me, Sarah Palin is a stupid, vapid pentecostal nutcase with only enough brain cells to rub together to help her wink and flap her mouth when someone pulls her puppet strings. The fact that people give her 2 seconds of their time, combined with her views on Armageddon and the end times, makes her extremely dangerous. Usually when confronted with someone who likes Palin, I run the other way.

What Level Of Woo Would Make Someone Undateable?

Here is a question for you. What level of woo would make someone undateable? What about unfriendable? Do you have a limit that you've drawn in your life or do you have a lot of woo woo people around you that you interact with? How do you get on with them? Do you find it difficult? Do you argue with them or are you silent about your woo disbelief?

Woo can be defined as anything supernatural, irrational or lacking in evidence. So it would include religion and any kind of pseudoscience.

On a side note, is there anything that could be defined as woo that you still believe in? If so, why?

For me, I've somehow whittled down my friend list from all woo-lovers to all skeptical atheists. I didn't do this deliberately, but I guess with my skeptical talk and constant questioning (not aggressively, but I really did question all the woo I previously embraced), my woo-loving friends all went their separate ways and avoided me within months of when my quest for knowledge began.

I didn't have many friends for awhile but then found the Morgantown Atheists where I found several people that have become good friends. Also, having HDC has let me meet new people who were rather like-minded as well.

With extended family, I still have to deal with woo, both religious and supernatural. They know Butch (my awesome husband) and I are die-hard atheists so we have come to an unspoken agreement that we don't talk about religion. Or politics just to be safe and have nice dinners together. :P

I think I'm lucky in most respects. My skeptical atheist friends keep things lively by being smart and reason-based (most of the time, we're not perfect, of course). And my extended family gives me an occasional glimpse into woo-land so I get to see what the majority of people are dealing with and believing. It's enough.

Happy Spring Equinox!

So yesterday was the Spring (Vernal) Equinox in the northern hemisphere. It was at 12:32 pm to be exact. Many different cultures have celebrated in different ways. But my friends and I at Morgantown Atheists thought we'd celebrate in our own way. We got together, ate delicious food, talked about anything and everything, had a book meeting, had a Nature Walk on our friends' farm and generally enjoyed ourselves, nature, and spring returning.

I thought I'd share some pictures from our Nature Walk.

In our conversations we talked about how people struggle when they are questioning their faith. It's different for everyone, but some of the big things you have to give up are:

• Your consciousness living forever in heaven. Life after death.


• Someone thinking for you, telling you what your morals are, and spoon-feeding you the big answers to questions about why we're here, etc.


• Community from your church. Sometimes this is everyone you know. Family and friends.

A Thought Experiment With Your Religious Friends

I am reading several books right now (I have them all listed in the left sidebar). One is called The God Virus and I just started it the other day. On page 18, Darrel W. Ray describes an experiment. I think I've heard of it before, but I thought I'd share it with you because it shows how religion attacks the critical thinking skills of the mind. As Mr. Ray says, it leaves the skill intact for other religions but disables critical thinking about one's own religion. It really is like a virus of the mind.

Here's the experiment as explained in the book:

You have a serious conversation with a deeply christian friend. Your friend is intelligent, well educated and knowledgeable. You agree to record the session. The topic is islam. During the session, you discuss that mohammed was a self-appointed prophet and that he claimed he talked to allah and the angels. He wrote a book that he claimed was infallible, and he flew from Jerusalem to heaven on a horse.

During the conversation, you agree that mohammed was probably delusional to think he could talk to god. You agree that the koran was clearly written by mohammed and not allah. It is ludicrous for him to claim that he is the last prophet and that all others are false. Neither you nor your friend can believe that he flew to heaven, let alone on a horse. It all sounds too crazy, and you both agree it is difficult to see how someone could believe such a religion. At the end of the conversation, you say that muslims did not choose their religion; they were born into it. Anyone who was exposed to both christianity and islam would see that christianity is the true religion.

Getting Sick of Militant christians In My Family

I just reactivated my Facebook account. (please befriend me, if you like! I'm Neece Campione over there. Just let me know you're from here!) So much of my family seems to only converse by Facebook these days, so I gave in and finally went back to it. If you can't beat 'em.... Oh jeez... I just got a fever and reactivated my Twitter account too (ZeNeece over there) oh the madness!

ANYHOO... where was I? Oh, yeah. Facebook and family. What's the deal with everyone being so god this, jesus that lately? And they're so in-my-face about it. I am pretty sure they all know I'm an atheist. Where's the respect? Why can't they tone it down? It's incredibly - dare I say it - offensive to me to have to be bombarded with this sheeple thinking every day. My friends are all atheists (how interesting, don't you think? LOL), but the family... they're unbearable. In the last week, every conversation with them has involved their invocation of their holy lord and savior, all to my irritation.

Now, I know you will probably disagree with me, but I haven't said a word to any of them. I've politely ignored the pleas that I pray for them or the requests for a miracle to save them from their bad situations (which they got themselves into ... sans god). Being on Facebook really has it in my face even more. They want to chat with me all day and it seems that the invocations to god come fast and furious. It's maddening. Or the stuff they leave on their pages - it's like swimming in a pool of religious hallmark cards, and all the papercuts that would cause.

I know that this is my fault. I've kept my mouth shut all these years and now they just walk all over me. One of them actually gets really frustrated and snippy with me when I say happy holidays instead of merry christmas. She goes on and on about putting the christ back in christmas all through december. Unbearable. Oh, I should mention, 98% of these family members are in-laws. Yeah, that's probably important, isn't it?

So, I feel like I've reached a crossroads. Granted, it's my fault for indulging them for so long. But how do I restore my sanity now? Do I say, 'HEY, you are all idiots! There's no invisible sky daddy!" Ok, that's a bit harsh. Um, do I post pro-atheist stuff all over my facebook page? Hmm, that's so passive aggressive, and easy for them to ignore, which would leave me where I am now.

I want to be nice and respectful. But no one is respecting me. I'm so sick of their god being thrown in my face all the time. I have a feeling that most of them will be offended by any little thing I do or say, then will pointedly ignore that it was said, and just shout jesus-isms from the rooftops even louder.

So I'm asking for your help. Like I said, I am pretty sure most of them already know I'm an atheist. I give them respect but get none in return. How do I get some sanity back? Is it even possible? Or do I have to just become a hermit in a shack in the woods, and get myself a nice old typewriter? I'm so frustrated!

Help Identify This Microscope!

I got my microscope! And I need your help. This thing is awesome (I think), but I have no idea what it is. It has no name on it. I have no idea even what the magnification is. I've dusted it carefully and now I'm waiting for UPS to deliver the slides and slide covers. I am still trying to figure out how to get a temporary light source to work, then I have to figure out a permanent lighting solution.

Oh... at the end of the technical bits, I need to rant a bit, in case you're interested.



OK! The slides arrived. I've looked up Optical Microscopes and I know more than I did already. Don't think you're off the hook though. I still need you.

Happy Winter Solstice! Let's Celebrate With Lolcats!

It's that time of year, my friends. The Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year for us in the Northern Hemisphere, has arrived.

Wow. It's Over! And Other Goodness

First, let's do the other goodness. The political bit follows. My friend has been busy lately and I want to share what he's been doing.

• Global Atheist is an aggregate site that refreshes every 15 minutes. It's a great place to scan lots of awesome skeptical and atheist sites at once.

Now for the Rambling Political Bit:

After about 2 years of campaigning and general political nastiness, it's over. We'll have a new president soon! Change is in the air! President Barack Obama. I don't know about you, but I'm so glad it's done.

It seems that most of America is probably relieved and happy today, while some people (like my parents) are very angry and busy selling off their stocks so that they can leave the country. Maybe they can move to Canada. Oh wait, Canada really IS a socialist country. Just teasing.

Hopefully things will settle down, and people will get on with their lives. My phone didn't ring all day from the Republican party, telling me how to think, so it was nice to have some peace and quiet.

I feel like there is so much potential for positive change. I hope good things will be able to happen with a new administration.

What does it mean to us, the little people, to have a new president? Hopefully a lot. In my humble opinion, things can only get better after the past 8 years. Apparently most of America agrees that it was time for something different. WOOT!

The Men In My Life

Hey everyone. How are you today? This post will be about the 2 guys in my life. Coincidentally, they both have done something recently that I wanted to share with you. So here you go:

First, my husband Butch, who happens to be awesomely smart (and pretty damned rogueishly handsome too! hee hee). He doesn't blog often, but when he does, I just love to see what is bouncing around in his brain. Usually it's a bit on the angry/ranting side of things. Ok, not usually, almost always. :P

The other day he wrote about Things Every American Needs To Know. It's a bit on the "angry diatribe" kinda post, but it's good stuff and I wanted to share it with you. Basically it's the difference between rights and privileges. I hope you find it interesting.

Some People Are Like Sparklers

You know the type, I'm sure. They're all flashy and fun in the beginning. Mildly entertaining, shiny and interesting. Then they start to sputter. You see that you're just dealing with flash signifying nothing, but it only happens for a brief moment. The flash and sparkly goodness comes back and you go on with your new friend.

But then the sputtering happens more frequently. And finally their spark and interest dies completely. And you are left with a flimsy little stick in your hand, wondering, why the hell was I even amused by such trivia in the first place?

You're not necessarily mad at the person for being a "flash in the pan" but you're kind of irritated with yourself for falling for the sparkle, the glamour.

Karen 1958-2008

Friend and confidant

Admired, brilliant, loquacious

Bold, fiery spirit