My friend Jenny is the best. The other day she sent me 3 pages of a catalog full of christian crap for kids. It's amazingly horrible. Of course my first instinct was to share it with you. Jenny even went so far as to make notes on the pages. She's not only a great friend, she's funny too!
Without further ado, here you go. This is the kind of horrible stuff you can buy your poor little brainwashed kids. It's great for parties too! Click the images for bigger sizes.
Choke down these cross mints. They come in their own little bible tin. But the top rated ones are the mints with bible verses. How special. And look, they're fat free. We don't want our little bible babes to be chubby!
Stones to throw at heathens and unbelievers! Some say words like "dream" and "faith" while others bear a torture symbol. Great for worried kids who are afraid of burning in hell for all eternity! Just rub that rock and you'll be fine! Jesus Saves, after all!Page 1 is cross-happy. Look at the awesome real nail necklace you can have for only 75 cents each! Or hour about a flashlight for when your parents lock you in the basement for not praying hard enough? It says Jesus is the light. How precious.
Page 2 gives faith filled value with a burlap sack to play with, emblazoned with christian frogs leaping for the lord. Touching. And if you sin too much you can cut holes in the sack and wear it until you've been blessed by your favorite pedo-priest on Sunday. Look at the happy kids. As you can see, their brains are freshly washed... washed in the blood of the lamb! How about a Jesus loves me kazoo? Make a joyful noise unto the lord, damnit! Or a whore-ish religious tattoo? And three types of mints because the lord hates bad breath. Or at least those pedo-priests do.
Page 3 is full of more cheap crap for brainwashed kids. Here you can make your own nail cross. Gotta love the symbol of a deadly torture device. Very nice for the kiddies. Most of the stuff on here is pretty lame, but not that cheap, for the discerning Sunday school teacher or godly mother.
Thanks, Jenny. My eyes are bleeding now. I think I need to go eat a nice garlic roasted baby now to cleanse my godless heathen soul.