Blaspheming Against the Holy Spirit

Yesterday on Facebook, I had 2 Catholics preaching to me. One told me she has been praying for me for awhile, and that I must accept that fact. So? I told her if she wanted to waste her time, it was her business. (What was she hoping for here?)

Logical fallacies abounded. Apologetics was tossed about wantonly. It was mind-numbing in its banality. 

I was even told, by the same woman, that I am more Christian than other people she knows, and that Christ acts through me. Which I find to be offensively condescending and meaningless at the same time.

I'm good simply because it's the right thing to do. I don't need a god that I can't experience in any meaningful way to work through me to do good. I do it all on my own. If anything works through me to do good, of course we all know it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster, May You All Be Touched By His Noodly Appendage. Or maybe it's the dragon in my garage (if I had a garage, this would probably be the case!)

Not to mention, if Christ acts through me, she is implying that I have no free will, that I am just a puppet of Jesus. Isn't free will very important to Christians? Another blatant contradiction.

I felt like they were proselytizing to me. One of them is a friend of the other, not even of me. So I informed them that I've denied the Holy Ghost, which is the unforgivable sin. It's a one way ticket to Hell. 

Then of course they nitpicked the bible and said that it has to be interpreted properly, and soon fell back on saying that only special magic priests in the Catholic church are connected enough to the Almighty to be able to interpret such things (and change them arbitrarily, such as Limbo for babies). 

By this time, I had completely lost interest. What's the point of arguing with people like this? They wanted to nitpick interpretations of their holy book. They wanted to explain why their view of things was Right and why I couldn't understand because I hadn't read all the catholic dogma and I was just a godless heathen with my back turned to God.

I admit I got a bit snippy and told them that I didn't care to nitpick the details of their delusional belief system based on an old collection of historical and fictional rantings of desert goat herders from the Bronze Age.

In other words, if the books aren't divinely inspired, which I'm pretty sure they aren't, then what's the point of reading Catholic canon and old apologetic ramblings?

Anyway, it got me thinking of the passages of the bible that I had quoted to these people. Here they are: (NIV)

Happy Easter Fellow Heathens!

Happy Easter, fellow heathens! Jesus died for your sins but came back for your BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSS!

I hope you are enjoying ham, chocolate and good company. Here is some irreverent, blasphemous humor for you today:

Now we know how Easter Eggs are made!

 

All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster! He is Risen!

A Rational Chain E-mail

My friend Charles composed the following email as a response to a ridiculous christian forward he got call "Untimely Deaths". He thought I might like to share it with you. So here it is, including the angry christian email reply he already got and his reply to that at the end. His version had the classical large fonts, underlines and bold text that inflammatory emails often have, but for the web, I had to strip most of the formatting. If you decide to send this on to your christian friends, feel free to make them more at ease by using insanely large font sizes, underlines, unreadable colors, etc. :P

Do you have the COURAGE to Read this whole E-Mail?????

The TRUTH about UNTIMELY DEATHS!

John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during an interview with an American Magazine, he said:
"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple. Today we are
more famous than Him" (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Is god lazy? Lennon said he was bigger than Jesus in 1966. Mark Chapman shot him in 1980.
Fourteen years later! Was god too busy all those years assassinating other sinners? Is he a procrastinator?
"Oh yeah, that one blasphemous beatle. I really should smite him."
The next day:
"Crap! I forgot! again!"

And so on, for the next fourteen years!

A Sacri-licious Experiment With The Body Of Christ

Stumbling around the intertoobs, my husband found a page titled, Body of Christ? Not So Nice! I cracked up laughing and thought I'd better share it with you. I haven't gone to church in about 27 years, so I don't remember what Jesus tasted like. The christian churches I went to served Jesus wafers with red grape juice (pansies), so I never even got to wash down the lord with the real stuff - red wine.

Maybe that's why I lost the faith! I didn't get the right jesus juice! I was cheated, and now I'm just a lost heathen. AMEN!

Anyway, this guy Kevin decided to try different toppings on the eucharist crackers. This was back in 2005, so I guess he beat PZ Myers to the sacriligeous punch, so to speak. Here's the intro to Body of Christ? Not So Nice!