Is It Just Me?

Lately, I've had some events happen that made me think about how I think, and I was wondering if it's just me or if other people have experienced this as well.

I bought my first ever real cell phone - a smart phone, woot! - and we had an animal behaviorist come help us with our newest dog, Tyche. These two events seem disparate but they both involve something new coming into my life.

From the time when I decided to get a smart phone to when I had it in my hands, I kept catching myself having strange thoughts in the back of my mind. It wasn't really conscious, and it went along the lines of "my new phone will make this task easier or the way I do this better."

It turns out that the phone really does enhance how I do things and I love it. But I was getting those anticipatory thoughts for just about everything, for stuff that obviously wasn't going to improve just because I got a shiny new gizmo. So I would have to say, "Neece, that's not rational. The phone is not going to do your dishes for you."

It seems trivial, except at the same time we had Lindsay the animal behaviorist scheduled to come for the assessment of Tyche. I was nervous and also really excited about what I'd learn about dogs and their behavior.

But I found myself thinking, "when Lindsay comes, this irritation won't happen anymore." As if her appearance in my home was a panacea for all my ills. Just like the phone.

I'm basically pragmatic and reasonable. I know that having a new gizmo is not going to keep the dogs from tracking in buckets of mud all day long. But it didn't stop the reflexive thoughts in the back of my mind.

Is it just me? Or have you ever noticed this kind of thinking?

I've seen my friends anticipate something good in their future and be overly optimistic. Is that the same thing? It seems like it might be.

A classic example is when someone gets a new job. Before they start they are usually 98-100% optimistic about the job. The first short while everything is groovy. Then a crack in the pedestal shows up. The boss makes a bad decision (the first of many), a co-worker starts to show an irritating habit, a policy changes.

Usually the person will rationalize the first few problems. They will work around them and still try to stay positive. But then the frustrations start to pile up and a dam starts to grow up in the river. The optimism slows to a trickle and resentment builds. Next thing you know that awesome job is the worst career move ever. This is the extreme, but you get the point.

The same goes for many relationships. The person you first go out with seems so perfect, then time goes on, familiarity breeds contempt, and you end up hating all the cute little idiosyncrasies you used to find so endearing.

If most people do this, what is the advantage, and is it evolutionary? Why do we do it? I welcome your thoughts and perspectives.

The Opinions of Others

Have you ever noticed how people react when you tell them you don't like what they like? The perfect example is a TV show or movie. Over the holidays, what people watched on TV came up a lot.

"Did you see the latest episode of X?"

"No, I don't like that show."
"What!? That's the greatest show ever!" They seem genuinely worked up by your dislike of something they value. 

I was wondering what the reason is for people overreacting to having a difference of opinions. Here are some thoughts:

• In-Group/Out-Group: If I like X and you say you don't like X, then you are automatically out of my group, you become an outsider. 
• Worldview Threatened: If I like Q and you say Q is stupid, then that might be perceived as a threat to my worldview. It's a challenge.

This whole thing about Worldviews being threatened is fascinating. I think this is especially a problem when the issue at hand is not a concrete fact, but can be seen as subjective, open to interpretation, or contentious in some way.

Last week, I got a comment on a post that I took the wrong way, and my reply was a bit snippy and defensive. The commenter, Eric, said the following in reply:

"Isn't it odd that in a situation where just about everyone admits that the evidence is not definitive, and probably never will be, where you would think people would be most tolerant of differing interpretations of the evidence, people instead tend to become less tolerant of opposing views and often question the motives or honesty of the other side?"

It's interesting, isn't it? I think studies have been done that have shown just such a conclusion. The more people feel unsure about something important to them, the more they dig their heels in once they believe one side or the other. 

This seems apparent in areas like religion and politics where it doesn't look like there is any one hard fact, it's more about worldview and perspective of the world. People get really stubborn about however they make up their minds.

I'd say that it's different when there is hard evidence to be had, but that's not consistently true, is it? ID/evolution is a prime example where those who accept evolution rely on mountains of evidence and those who believe in ID rely on faith and on one old musty collection of books from 2 millennia ago. 

But, if you asked someone with a strong opinion in a non-factual argument, that person would probably have "good" reasons to believe their side. I think that might be the case because people don't know how to think critically at all anymore, if they ever did. But we are hard wired to rationalize.

Of course, there is also research that shows that people actually form beliefs first, then rationalize those beliefs. Michael Shermer's The Believing Brain does a nice job of explaining how we go about this.

But it definitely puts us on the back foot, because we have to justify our beliefs when they are challenged, and we probably don't have solid reasons for those rationalizations.

I also noticed over the holidays that the offended reactions to differing preferences was much less apparent among my skeptical friends. In my family and among my less skeptical friends, that's where it was really noticeable.

I think this is because skeptical people practice critical thinking, whereas your average person has no idea what critical thinking even is, never mind how to do it.

The moral of the story? Learn how to think critically!