It's Official! I'm a Pastafarian Minister!

As of September 17, 2011, I was officially ordained as a minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. If I fill out an application in my county, I will be able to perform Pastafarian weddings. Pretty cool, huh? Now I'm a Pastafarian! ARRRR!

May You Be Touched By His Noodly Appendage!

Here is where you go to get your official ordination.

I guess I should get my picture taken for my license with a pasta strainer on my head, next.

I'm in the Wrong Business

Every once in awhile I think about how people like me are just trying to get by when churches are raking in the dough from willing sheep. Sometimes I even tell my husband that we should do something with our statuses as official reverends. Yes, I'm actually a reverend and have been for about 13 years. I don't do anything with it though, because, as you know, I'm also a godless heathen.

While atheists are usually somewhere in the middle to upper class, we certainly aren't on par with the churches in terms of wealth and power. So sometimes I think I should see about starting my own heathen church. Imagine the good we could do while cashing in on those faith-based initiatives.

Money.co.uk wrote an article recently called The Business of Religion which I wanted to share with you.

Here are some highlights:

The Catholic Church

• Worth hundreds of billions worldwide


• 1.81 billion followers worldwide


• Notorious for Pope Ratz saying condoms actually help the spread of AIDs and for many cases of abusing innocent children.


• Fortune comes from priceless works of art. The catholic church was implicated in the disappearance of Nazi gold, discovered in a shrine in Fatima in which the church admitted to having in 2000. They also make money from tourism to the vatican.


• They are one of the largest providers of humanitarian care and relief in the world. (but it's a vehicle to spread their indoctrination and increase their numbers)

The Church of England

• Worth billions


• 25 million baptized members (but I believe babies are baptized so the number is misleading, as people don't necessarily stay in the church once they grow up)


• Fortune comes from $320 million in cash donations from congregations, $400 million in legacies, events and services and $320 million in Gift-Aid donations. They used to be the biggest landowner in Britain but they sold it off to fund a multi-billion dollar investment portfolio which earns $255 million or more a year.


• Spends their money on pensions, salaries and maintaining 16,000 ancient buildings. They have 43 cathedrals which need constant care.

Scientology

• Worth unknown but definitely in the hundreds of millions, probably in the billions


• They claim to have over 8 million followers worldwide (3.5 million in the US alone), but a 2008 survey showed just 20,000 Americans identified themselves as scientologists.


• Notorious for their ridiculous beliefs and extortionist fees for spiritual growth (plus their brutal way of dealing with people who disagree with them or speak out against them)


• Fortune comes from fees incurred when someone wants to advance in the church and get "clear". It costs over $272,ooo to reach Operating Thetan VIII which is the highest rank in the church. They are basically a fee-based operation and members are encouraged to even take out loans if they can't afford the courses.


• Some of the things they have spent their money on: $114 million to forever preserve L. Ron Hubbard's writings. A cruise ship called Freewinds was $15.2 million. They spent $6 million in an ad campaign to try to neutralize the expose' of Time magazine. $3 million in gold bullion.

Televangelism

• Combined worth somewhere around $2.4 billion


• No official figures on the number of followers. It's an American phenomenon, but televises worldwide.


• Notorious for their "prosperity gospel" which states that "Jesus blesses believers with riches". Of course you have to show your belief by sending in money. They call it "seed money". Some speak in tongues, some pretend to heal the sick.


• Fortune comes from donations, ads, selling merchandise to followers and other commercial activities.


• Televangelists don't seem to mind living the life of luxury while bilking money out of desperate poor and old people. They have multi-million dollar homes, fly in private jets, and have international 'crusades' at $3,000 a night.

Preying on the Weak

Yesterday I was 'blessed' to receive the following letter. Lucky for me (and you!) I opened it.

Of note on the front of the envelope:

• Postage states this is a nonprophet organization (pun intended)


• A 'very old church' - ooh.. must be hundreds of years old, maybe even going all the way back to Jesus' time!


• Vague message. What does it mean to be blessed, anyway?


• My home first! I'm so blessed!


• Someone went super crazy with the red highlighter. Calm down and step away from the office supplies, Jesus Christ!

The back of the envelope is really trying to get my attention, if the front wasn't enough.

Of note on the back of the envelope:

• Very smart. They give me web addresses I can go to.


• More red underlining. Ok, Jesus. Calm the feck down.


• Oh! the letter is blessed! Awesome!


• Very vague

The two websites are similar. They have a lot of bible verses, text in bold, and text in red. They say if you send in your prayer to them, they will pray 5 times a day for you.

BiblicalPrayer.com offers a free gift, a Blessed Cross,  "one of the most beautiful crosses in the world" which looks cheap even in the pictures. It seems like you can get it for free. In the envelope they have for you to print out to send in your request, there's nothing in there about a donation. Even the postage is paid for you.

Apparently, this church started in 1951. That's not what I'd call "very old". They say on the one site that they used to have revivals where up to 20,000 church members would come. Now, for some reason instead of continuing with those, they are mainly by mail. The sentence sort of just ends at the bottom of the page so they don't explain.

Ok, on to the letter that came in the envelope!

A Vivid Reminder

As you may remember, my parents visited recently.  My mom brought me a piece of my childhood that I wanted to share with you. Here it is:

My bible from childhood. I guess I doodled on it. This is from 30 years ago, when I was 12.

~

Jesus Saves! Love is GOD!
(interesting that I said it that way. Don't people normally say "God is love?")

Is God Love?

When I was a child, I was raised to believe that God and Jesus loved me, but that I was a terrible sinner. I was told over and over that Jesus had to die for me, and that I had to accept him into my heart and then be baptized if I wanted to avoid eternal hellfire and damnation. I was baptized three times in three different churches because I was so terrified of eternal torment.

In the past year I have talked to Christians and Catholics who have a very different experience of God than I did. If I mention the hellfire and brimstone preaching of my childhood they tell me how different it really is. They all say the same thing. God Is Love.

Last year my local atheist group (Morgantown Atheists) went to a megachurch together to experience it. While the preacher didn't say God Is Love, the message was very clear. In fact the first emcee guy even said he was there to make our experience as pleasant and comfortable as possible. There was mention of Jesus dying for our sins, and that we needed him, but no mention of hell, no mention of anything negative. It was all very wishy-washy and watered down, all very pleasant and positive.

I would guess that both kinds of churches still exist today. I'm sure southern baptist and maybe pentecostal are more about hellfire and brimstone, putting the Fear of God into people to keep them on the straight and narrow. Maybe the fundamentalist churches too, but that's a guess.

I wonder which kind of message is more prevalent today? (I know some of you Google-mad geeks can help me come up with the perfect terms to search here!) I have a feeling it's the feel-good God Is Love message. It's certainly very pleasant and seems to embrace more people and accept them. But I am definitely an outsider on this so I am not sure.

Please feel free to share your church experiences: Which churches have you been to? What was the fundamental message? God is Love? or Fear God? Or some weird twisted combo package? Or something else entirely?

But is God Love? I've read the bible more than once. The god of the old testament is most definitely an angry, jealous god. He says so himself. In fact even his name is Jealous. (Exodus 34:14)

'Scientific Rigor' Regarding Exorcisms

The Telegraph wrote a couple of credulous, one-sided articles regarding exorcism recently. Apparently the interwebs makes it easy for people to find information on satanism, which is leading, of course, to more exorcisms. OMFSM, I just said the word satanism! I'm probably already possessed now! Get me a priest!

So is there a rise in satanism? Let's see what Google Trends can find:

First I looked up satanism by itself. There is no increase in searches for that term since 2004. It's really not that popular, I don't think. Then I did "satanism, exorcism". Exorcism has spikes, either from movies like Last Exorcism or "scary" vatican rumblings about the exorcism "crisis".



So, I guess they lied? Or they have no idea what they're talking about.

Anyway, a few things in this article stood out. First, they were written because the vatican hosted a 6 day conference in Rome regarding the "crisis". It was to give support to families and priests. Apparently "there is a particular risk for young people who are in difficulties or who are emotionally fragile."

Also, the objective of the seminars was to look at the "phenomenon" of satanism with "seriousness and scientific rigour". Uh, really? That's laughable!

Some Lighthearted Fun, Kinda

Here are some random images and thoughts. Tomorrow is my local atheist group's Thanksgiving get together and I'll be busy making candied yams and eating tons of great food and hanging out with my fellow heathens. So I wanted to give you something beforehand. It's that time of year, too. What are you grateful for? I will list a few things below.

Here is a better bible, and it's only one page. It can fit on a sticky note:



But first, I require that you go first, God. Follow your own rule and Don't Be a DICK!

And God would reply (predictably), "Do as I say, not as I do."

Which leads me to ask you, if the god of Abraham (we'll assume he's the same one for the Jews, Christians and Muslims) exists as he is represented in his "holy" books, would you worship him?

I wouldn't. No way. What a complete and utter childish bully he is. And fickle!

While the above image is for a bit of humor, I'd say that's a pretty good place to start when putting together your moral code. I rewrote mine awhile ago - Neece's Principles. It's a great exercise that helps you realize what's important to you and why, instead of just doing what we were taught by our religious leaders and parents, who probably got their morals from their churches.

Church and Mosque Collapses

A Facebook friend of mine wrote the following: "Google 'church collapse' and check out the number of results of people killed while in the act of praising their deity." So of course I did!

Church collapse: 10,400,000 results!

I am guessing that probably a third of those results are about how the church (as an institution) is collapsing. Which I think is great, if it's true. Also you have to figure that several stories all report on one collapse, so divide by 4 (as a really rough estimate). The number of recent church collapses (say the last couple of years) is about 1,730,000? Math is not my strong suit though, so let me know if I'm way off.

People dying is never something to praise, but it's amazing that so many churches collapse around the world and people still pray to those gods. If God can't even take care of his own buildings, what can he do for me?

And what about mosques?

Mosque collapse: 1,680,000 results!

With these results, I'd say divide by 4 to account for duplicate reports. I got 420,000 relatively recent mosque collapses. I guess Allah doesn't like the way people are bowing and scraping to him.

I Didn't Get Struck By Lightning

So I didn't get struck by lightning when I went to church this morning. But I do feel like I'm catching a cold from the exposure to all those christian strangers. I guess I've been smote by the rhinovirus of GOD!

The first thing I noticed was 2 cops directing traffic. Butch commented on taxpayer resources being used for such a purpose, but they were definitely needed. This was a big church with lots of cars. The building looks more like a school than a church, if you ask me.

Here's where we went: Chestnut Ridge Church. None of us got a good estimate of how many seats there were. It was set up like a theater with a big stage, a 6 piece pop music band, 2 giant screens where they put the words to the songs and the bible verses from the sermon, and movie theater seating. The control booth is state of the art, like you'd find for a rock concert.Free coffee was served before people went in and each seat had a cup holder like in a movie theater. There were no crosses, no crucifixes, no representations of Jesus at all, nothing that made it seem church-like. It was very casual, very relaxed.

Everyone was very pleasant and nice. We had to shake hands and everyone made eye contact. Children were all well behaved and not too many babies cried much. The TV monitors counted down to the start, then they just basically began with a rundown of the schedule, then everyone said hi to their neighbor then 3 or 4 songs which people were encouraged to sing to, with the karaoke lyrics on the screens.

People seemed to enjoy the music which was very loud. The audience had very little lighting, just enough for me to see my notebook and for people to see if they wanted to get up. But the stage had concert lighting including a smoke machine. The babies didn't seem upset by the incredibly loud music and the bass was really cranked up on the drums. People seemed to enjoy it but no one got "into the spirit" or did anything crazy, just a bit of keeping time and singing, stuff like that, maybe a bit of clapping when prompted.

We guessed the seating to be around 1500 but that's a very rough guess. It was about 85-90% full, mostly young people (teens to 30's, as a rough guess), about 99.9% white. One of my heathen friends saw one black man in African garb in the parking lot when we were going in. Other than that, I only saw white people. Then again, West Virginia is very white if I recall the statistics, so it doesn't mean too much.

Sunday Looms Menacingly

I don't want to go to church on Sunday. The last time I was in church was for a wedding. Miraculously I wasn't struck by lightning when I looked up at the huge 15 foot tortured Jesus bleeding on the cross over the doorway and said, "Jesus! WTF!" Then I proceeded to bite my cheek and bury my head in my lap to keep  from laughing hysterically all through the service after Butch pointed to the fat lady who was singing some horridly off-tune song and said, "I guess that means it's over." It was not a pleasant experience.

Before that, I'd have to go back to my troubled religious youth to remember being in church. Sitting uncomfortably in straight backed pews; singing vapid, falsely cheerful songs of unworthiness and worship to an invisible sky daddy; sipping grape juice and eating stale bits of savior; getting baptized 3 times in 3 different churches to ward off eternal damnation and gnashing of teeth in the sulfurous, burning pits of hell; dealing with fake smiles on fake faces adorned in Avon makeup and festooned in Sears and Roebuck Sunday best outfits; parroting bible stories carefully cherry-picked from the sordid pages of a book filled with murder, slavery and hate.

None of it was all that pleasant. All of it was forced. No one ever seemed genuinely kind or compassionate. When I learned about hypocrisy at the age of 12 I promptly called bullshit on the whole mess of religion and refused to go again. My parents were furious, but in the end they gave up on me, content that I'd eventually get my just reward in the fiery lakes of hell.

This Sunday we're going to the mega-church about 45 minutes away. I don't want to go but my local group wants to experience it. Since I'm the Official Cat Herder, I feel like it would be a good thing to go along. Part of me wonders what it's like in a mega-church. What is the feel of the place? Something I thought church should do for people is give them a sense of belonging, of community. How can you get that in a huge auditorium? I have no idea how big this place is. So it's only fair that I actually experience it, I guess.

I have some questions that I want to answer on Sunday. Feel free to comment with other questions I can try to answer as well. Here's what I have so far. I will take notes while I'm there.

Many Americans Are Religiously Mixed Up

The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life just released a new survey today. I've given it a quick persusal and I have to say, while some of it is interesting, most of it doesn't surprise me. Apparently large numbers of Americans engage in multiple religious practices. Stuff you'd think would cancel each other out, but they handle the cognitive dissonance without hesitation.

For example, many blend christianity with Eastern or new age philosophies such as reincarnation, astrology and the belief in spiritual energy in physical objects. Sizeable minorities in all major U.S. religious groups say they have experienced supernatural phenomena, such as being in touch with the dead or with ghosts.

A third of Americans attend different religious services. Personally I find this amazing. When I studied different religions, I lost my faith in all of them pretty quickly because they sort of canceled each other out. Instead 35% of Americans seem to handle the conflicting faiths and stories just fine.

24% of Americans and 22% of christians, specifically, believe in astrology and 15% have consulted a fortuneteller or psychic. Damn, I'm in the wrong business.

Nearly half (49%) of the public says they've had a religious or mystical experience, defined as a "moment of sudden religious insight or awakening."

This is interesting but not surprising. About 1/4 of adults express belief in tenets of certain Eastern religions: 24% believe in reincarnation, 23% believe in yoga as a spiritual practice. 26% believe in spiritual energy located in physical things such as mountains, trees or crystals and 25% believe in astrology. About 16% believe in the 'evil eye' or that certain people can curse or cast spells that cause bad things to happen to someone.

Debating Evolution is a Waste of Time (yeah, I know it's been covered before)

Debating Evolution with religious folk is a waste of time.
With the unknown, one is confronted with danger and discomfort--the first instinct is to abolish these painful states. First principle: any explanation is better than none. We all do it, we hear a strange noise and we quickly come up with a guess to explain the noise, i.e., wind, a ghost, a…? All tribes/social groups through time have come up with myths to explain unknowns, answers arrived at not through reason or logic, but to tranquilize the fear of the unknown, providing comfort.

Religious folk form their identities through their religious teachings and any information that doesn’t fit their belief system, triggers feelings of insecurity and fear; emotionally, they feel they are being personally attacked--they must abolish the danger and discomfort they feel. They can’t use reason or logic to evaluate any of the millions of facts supporting evolution--because they are indoctrinated and imprinted as children to feel shame and fear if they question their church's authority.

Don’t waste your time debating Evolution with a creationist; respect the right of others to believe as they wish, but never miss an opportunity to demonstrate the irrational paradox and dangerous delusion that is religious faith.

Anywhere in the world, where education increases, belief in religion declines and inversely, women’s rights increase. The greatest intolerance for religion comes from religious folk’s intolerance of other religions or sub-groups within their own religion.

It's time to tax all religious businesses and for the greater enforcement of the laws separating church and state; including, but not limited to, the armed forces, religious schools and donations to political parties.

Dan Saves Us A Visit To The Creation Museum

[caption id="attachment_2017" align="alignright" width="511" caption="The best picture Dan took in the museum. I smiled when I saw it. :)"][/caption]

Did you miss the Creation Museum Field Trip with PZ Myers last month? I did, and so did Dan, my friend from Rationality Now. But he and his friend decided to go to the museum not long after. He wrote up a 6 part tour that I found amazing, disturbing and depressing. His writing is excellent and thorough, quite interesting and fascinating.

So I wanted to share Dan's investigative tour with you. He sums up my feelings about the place rather perfectly. He has lots of pictures to illustrate as well.

Take a deep breath and dive in:

• Creation Museum Part 1 (which will lead you through to the other 5 parts)


• The Creation Museum Series page, with all the parts listed together

Religion and Sexual Predators

LAS VEGAS - A self-proclaimed prophet accused of molesting children would threaten his followers with excommunication if they did not succumb to his wishes, Las Vegas Metro police said Monday.

Benito Catello, 75, operated a non-denominational Christian church called The Ministry. Alleged victims told police that members were called “sheep” and they were instructed to call him “papa.”

A 17-year-old girl who accused Catello of molesting her said she had been a member of the church for nearly 10 years. In a police report, she said Catello instructed her to move into his spare bedroom so he could “counsel” her.

But the girl claimed Catello wanted to have sex with her and threatened to degrade her in front of other church members during daily services if she did not comply. The teen also told police Catello threatened to excommunicate her and her entire family.

As a result, the girl said she obeyed his demands and had sex with Catello multiple times. Police said she came forward after she convinced her parents not to let her move back in with Catello.

Catello is also accused of molesting a 13-year-old girl who went to visit her grandmother when the woman wasalso staying at Catello’s home.

When confronted about the accusations, police said Catello’s answer was that if the girls said it happened, it must be true. When asked to clarify, Catello is quoted saying that he was “full of the spirit and can’t help what he does” when he is “full” of it.

Catello is charged with 27 counts of sexual assault, and lewdness with a person under the age of 14.

Full of it? That's this guy's excuse? And the members were called "sheep"? What is it with religion and sexual predators?

He's hoping to use the "full of it" excuse to mollify his sheep. I think religion in general either draws pedophiles and other sexual predators because they know they will have easy and private access to victims under the guise of "counseling", or that some individuals, once in a position of power, become corrupt and feel they are above man's law, and use the Bible or Holy Spirit to justify their actions. But here's the thing---if religion gives people moral guidance and direction, how could this happen? It should be obvious that it doesn't. Instead, it provides cover for wolves to prey upon the sheep.

Now, I know some would argue that religion is not to blame, it is the pervert who misused the trust placed in them who took advantage of the trusting soul who got molested or taken advantage of. But that begs the question, in my mind anyway, of "Where was God in all this?" I mean, come on, doesn't most of this stuff happen in His house? And if He's all powerful, why does He let this happen in His name?

Simple, direct questions which have been asked and argued over ad infinitum. But the fact remains---crimes are committed, and God does nothing to stop them.

Conversations With christians - Beth 3 - Where Do We Go From Here? EDIT

I got another email from Beth! We are still on the topic of cherry-picking, but deal with a few more issues. Here you go, my friends. Your comments are always welcome.

EDIT: Johnny and GMNightmare commented below and I agreed completely with what they said. So I sent her another email a minute ago with that information as an addendum. Since I felt it was important and also sent it to Beth, I wanted to add it to the post, because it all fits right in. Thanks, guys, you're so awesome!

This "cherry picking" issue is really starting to bug me, honestly. I always viewed cherry picking as using only certain parts of things instead of incorporating the whole for your own convinence. If that is the case, I can assure you I am not. It would only be such if I were to view the Bible as entirely true and without flaws, which I do not. If I were honestly picking and choosing for my benefit then I would be saying all of it was authentic, but then excluding parts of it that redefined the selected part. For example, saying that Jesus was a real man who lived and taught as described in the New Testament does not change anything in the Old Testament. Jesus never stated that the Old Testament laws were the laws of the God he was referring to. I do not mean to sound rude, but I study the Bible very often and it baffles me where you heard such a thing. He does speak of Moses, however that is about the only specific reference that points to the earlier books. He also reads from Isiah, but that does not deal with the law of God, it is mainly about his nature.

Cherry-Pick: Verb: to choose the best items from a selection for oneself, often in an unfair manner.

And what part of selecting choice bits of the bible that you see fit to use, and discarding the rest is not cherry-picking? It's the very definition thereof. But no amount of definitions, or explanations or logic can budge you from your worldview, so let's move on. It doesn't matter why you choose choice bits and throw the rest out, the fact is that you do, at your personal discretion.

Jesus refers to the law of the old testament and the prophets:
Matthew 5:17-18 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
~ Jesus says he approves of the old testament laws and the prophets. He has no objection to the cruelties of the old testament, and he says those laws are binding on everyone forever.

Conversations With christians - Beth 2 - Down The Rabbit Hole

Hello everyone. I heard from Beth again today and will share our further exchange with you in a minute. After I posted the first conversation with her, she and I corresponded at least once more that night. So the following exchange is actually a few emails back and forth. I hope I can keep it straight for you so that it all makes sense.

I have to say, talking to christians is no easy task. I'm sure you understand that in your own experience. It's almost crazy-making to try to reason with someone who believes that Jesus raised the dead and walked on water. I don't know how people who debate such things don't lose their tempers and start smashing things. I guess I understand why some atheists are considered angry. They're probably just frustrated, like I am.

Anyway, here we go. We'll start with Beth. My comments will follow hers.

I apologize because I failed to inform you that even though I am Christian, I do not think the Bible is without flaws. It was written and edited by man, who is imperfect by nature, and therefore I leave room for error in it. When I stated I agree with Jesus's teachings, it was not my intention to come across as the type to "cherry pick", but to establish, given my ideals, that I view Jesus as a figure who represents righteousness. For example, it is like reading a fictional story. You see it is not true, but you can pick up on the lessons and agree with them. Now arguably, that is not sufficient enough a comparison since the foundation of my faith is the Holy Book, but I am not religious. I am spiritual. Organized religion, from my stance, is corrupt to a degree. Mind you, it does not take away from what Jesus advocated. People tend to misinterpret what he said and judge others based on their standards. My definition of what it constitutes to be a Christian appears to be different from yours. I do not fault you for that. I cannot explain myself well on that point, but trust me, I can still give myself that title even if there seems to be contradictions with how the church labels it and how I do. (if you insist on me elaborating on that then I will do my best)

I think I understand. You are a christian, a follower of christ. Spiritual but not religious. I get it. I wonder what being a christian means to you, but don’t feel pressured to explain it to me unless you want to. I already know what the church says. But how you see yourself and how you see christ is interesting to me.

Now, to address the "Is Jesus real?" question. Yes, I do think he lived. I see the parallels between him and other Gods invented (if you prefer that term) before him, but it does not change the fact he was there. Now I'm quite certain you could pull out a list of documents that show otherwise and I would not deny they demonstrate how he possibly couldn't have existed. However, I can also see evidence of him existing being destroyed as a result of how not many agreed with Christianity at the time and would not want a record of him around. I do believe him to be the Savior so yes, I believe he performed those miracles, even if science cannot completely fathom how such was possible. That goes into my belief that God is omnipotent and what that entails.

Do People Need To Worship? EDITED

This is not about church so much as society and culture. Recently Farrah Fawcett died. Later in the day Michael Jackson bit the dust as well. The world seemed to forget about Farrah immediately and focus on Jacko and how much of an amazing person he was.

Do people have such short attention spans and memories? Do they so easily forget what a freak he was? Do they so mindlessly get selectively nostalgic when someone dies or a big event happens?

I am so over Jacko, not that he was ever big on my list. He was a pedophile and a full-on freak. Why is he being revered? Has the catholic church's silent acceptance of pedophilia made most people numb to such horrors when committed by the exceedingly rich? I question the cognitive processes of anyone who feels the need to worship at the feet of such sickness.

On the other hand, Farrah died at age 62 of cancer. She was a good person who actually contributed to our entertainment. When she made The Burning Bed in 1984 (which was based on a true story), she was forever changed by that experience. Not to mention, as a sex symbol, she was willing to make that movie in the first place.

I found out a few minutes ago that she left donations to shelters for abused women, as well as some of her belongings. That's wonderful and thoughtful.

But it's not as interesting, apparently, as Jacko, who slept in a hyperbaric chamber, drank "jesus juice",  was a jehovah's witness and liked to diddle little boys then pay their families off for the privilege. So the world weeps for him? That's disgusting. Why would anyone feel the need to worship such a horrid person?

Then again, why do people worship god in whatever barbaric religion he is in? Do most people need to worship and look up to someone or something above them? Is it some vestige of evolution that we have yet to shed?

EDIT: My most awesomest husband Butch has written an excellent article about Whacko Jacko, along with an exclusive photo of said molester holding some damning evidence.

Also, here are some Smoking Gun articles that may interest you:

Jackson the Predator

Jackson's Legacy (with transcript)

Suffer The Martyr And They Will Come

Humans are funny creatures. I am forever marveling over how the mind of our species has evolved and how it thinks.

This guy, Joe Henrich, is an evolutionary anthropologist in British Columbia, Canada. He wrote a paper about how religions owe their success to their martyrs, which I found on New Scientist.

According to Mr. Henrich, if a religious leader is willing to sacrifice himself in a costly manner for his belief, this gives him credibility and helps that belief spread. If no one is willing to make a significant sacrifice for a belief, even young children will pick up on this and withhold their own commitment.

The more costly the behavior, the more likely it is to be sincere. If someone is willing to give their life, then it is for an ideal they believe in. This is even more important if the martyr is a high-status priest or leader.

Then, once people believe, they are more likely to perform similar displays themselves, such as vows of chastity or poverty. Henrich created a mathematical model to test this self-enforcing loop that can stabilize and help a system of beliefs persist over time.

This explains why religions have such costly renunciations. For example, the Romans persecuting the early christians actually may have led to the spread of those beliefs be letting their early believers to be martyrs. It is an ultimate credibility-enhancing display.

This is also shown in other social movements like utopian communes like the Shakers and the Hittites. The stricter the demands on their followers, the more likely the system would persist. Henrich says, "You can see the changes in action. The number of those costly commitment rituals increases over time."

This is still a hypothesis, and needs to be tested. But it sure does seem to explain things. If Henrich is right, then it explains why evangelical churches in the US are increasing in number, while it would predict that more liberal, less demanding churches would lose their flock because it would reduce their followers' commitment.

Henrich says, "To be a member you've got to walk the walk and talk the talk. And this transmits deeper faith to the children."

Personally this seems disturbing and macabre but it does explain a phenomenon that has baffled me in regards to religions. This is definitely an area of research that I'd like to see developed.

Here is the pdf of the paper: The evolution of costly displays, cooperation, and religion. Inferentially potent displays and their implications for cultural evolution. By Joseph Henrich

WolframAlpha and Google "Fun" While Fixing Computers

Ok, this will be relatively short because I'm very tired and I really have to go downstairs and devote myself to fixing Butch's computer today. You know how it happens, one thing leads to another, and suddenly I am doing a clean install of windows xp for him. Let's hope it fixes most of his problems and he'll be a happy camper again. (He has no internet connection. That's just not bearable these days, you know? Everyone needs and deserves fast internet access!)

So, if you haven't heard, WolframAlpha, the latest, coolest "computational knowledge engine" is out and ready to play with. It still has a long way to go with adding more functionality, but there's a lot in there. I was asking it questions regarding religions and that wasn't really an option yet. Go over and try a few questions, watch the video, and see if you won't at least bookmark the site. It's geektastic, if you ask me. :)

One question I asked it was how many people per church are in my town? Unfortunately it didn't know how many churches were here, so that didn't work. But it told me the population, so that was a start. Also it has handy links down on the right. One was to Wikipedia which had an even newer figure for my town's population. So then I went to Google Maps and asked it to tell me where all the churches are in my town. Here is a summary of what I found:

• Population: 19,096 people


• Area: 8.2 sq. miles


• Churches: 6302

That's 3 people per church. WTF? That can't be right!?

Now, I think some of those 6,302 churches are in the surrounding area outside of town. So I redefined my search to be near the main street of downtown. I got 6,296 churches. Within 8 miles of downtown, I would say the first 10 pages of results would be a fair estimate. That's about 100 churches. Whew.. that's much better. I was freaking out there for a minute.

That still means 191 people per church. That makes more sense, I guess. But seriously, driving through our sleepy little town, there's a church on every corner, it seems. The major denominations competing for the sheeple are catholic and methodist. We have a pentacostal church near our house too.

Well, now that I've wasted an hour of my day, and a few minutes of yours, I'll go work on Butch's computer. Which reminds me, if you're a geek, I'd love to be your new BFF! :D I know just enough about computers to get myself deep into trouble and not be able to get back out of it again. So wish me luck. I'm diving in headfirst!

Cherry-Picking and A bible Lesson For Atheists

I was stumbling around the intertoobs and found a blog post at dmiessler titled The Jesus Quote You'll Never Hear In Church. The quote is as follows:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Now, this is actually the end of the parable of the talents that jesus is telling. Basically the lesson that jesus seems to imply is that god takes what is not rightly his and reaps what he didn't sow. Of course, jesus freely admits that he tells parables to confuse people so they will go to hell:

Mark 4:10-12 And when he was alone, they that were about him with the twelve asked of him the parable.
And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables:
That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.

Not very nice, is it? Then again the bible is full of amoral cruelty and malice. Most people talk about the old testament, which is rife with stories of god slaughtering and maiming just about everything because he's so angry and jealous. But the new testament is full of nastiness as well. The Skeptic's Annotated Bible has compiled a nice list to make it easy: Cruelty In The New Testament, so I won't go over each one.

Anyway, regarding the first quote above from the book of Luke, christians will retort that it was a parable, not a quote. But right after the story, he tells his disciples to go steal a colt so that he can ride it into Jerusalem (Luke 19:30). So if he's willing to have his disciples steal for him and take what wasn't his, it really isn't out of context, now is it?

I really must point out one other new testament quote by jesus, because it shows that he is just as petty and cruel as his dad:

Luke 14:26, 33 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

What kind of kindly, peace-loving godlike person would say such a stupid thing? Then again, just read all the heinous things that god did in the old testament to see that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Anyway, this all reminded me about cherry-picking, which is a logical fallacy. I've found that it's quite natural for people to cherry-pick information to suit their needs. You remember the bad times with your ex and happen to forget how many happy times you had together. Or, the most famous and irritating of all, christians take the bible and filter out the parts that support whatever message they are trying to find there and simply ignore the rest. When you call them on it, they say you have to take the icky bits in context, because then they show that they really aren't amoral and cruel or malicious, just misunderstood.