Showing posts with label genius. Show all posts
Showing posts with label genius. Show all posts

My Pareidolia Has Produced a Miracle!



Recently, I shared my blessing with you of Jesus showing himself to me in a picture in my dining room of pond scum on a creek. I was amazed at your lack of Faith. No one else saw Jesus but me. But that did not deter me! I knew I had a Genuine Miracle in my presence. So I prayed and waited for the Blessings to start rolling in. (and by pray, I mean I sarcastically blogged about it and then promptly forgot about it)

Well here's a big one! My dear husband Butch got a job! He had one but he was offered a better one. Which means he was able to quit the old one that he hated. God always provides!

Of course, my confirmation bias sees the recent pareidolia from August 31 and Butch being offered a job a week later as being magically related. And of course, I have (conveniently) forgotten that Butch had just applied for the job (his mundane, human actions), that he had been looking for a job for quite a few months, and that he had the requisite skills gleaned over many years of hard work to attract the new employer.

In other words, Butch took all the boring, time consuming steps needed to get hired. But I don't have to think about his intelligence, technical skills, people skills and persistence. No, of course not. I just know that Jesus provided through my Faith and Devotion.

Ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. First, it's incredibly insulting to Butch to ignore all of  his efforts to pin all the accolades on Jesus, an invisible, evidence-free friend who gets all the glory when things go well, and never gets blamed when bad stuff happens.

That is really the evil genius of religion. Whoever first came up with that slick bit of mind-twisting psychology obviously skyrocketed to the top of the game. Heads Jesus wins; Tails you lose. But Jesus loves you and will give you rewards after you are dead. Of course, you'll be dead so you will never know if you wasted your life in servitude for a bucket of lies.  Oh, and don't forget, if you don't love Jesus, he will make you burn in hell forever and ever. How can you pass this deal up?

Oh, you need evidence. I see. That's against the rules. God says you have to have faith. See how I move the goalposts so it always goes my way? Pretty sneaky, aren't I? It's evil genius, playing off of our human weaknesses. Brilliant!

Where Can I Buy Some Creedocide?

Butch and I were watching a new show called Important Things with Demetri Martin a little while ago. Demetri started on The Daily Show but I guess they saw how amazing this kid is, and now he has his own show. He's amazing! He can play multiple instruments at once (something I could never do), and he's ambidextrous... at the same time! So he can draw with both hands simultaneously! To me that's just amazing.

Anyway, While that's all clever and interesting, the show is quite funny. But this evening (which was actually on this past Wednesday but we just watched it on our DVR) the show took a turn to sheer freaking brilliance. He did a sketch called Power - Creedocide.

I did  a search on it to see if I could get the video for you. Apparently everyone has already gotten it up on their blogs. Sorry for being late to the game, as usual. Anyway, I'm posting it here because if for some reason you live under a bigger rock than I do, and you haven't seen it yet, watch it. It's 1:49 long and it's very funny.

EDIT: Damnit. I can't seem to get this stupid video to embed correctly. I'll keep trying. But you can see the video here: Creedocide

EDIT 15 minutes later: Ok, I officially give up. It's not me, it's comedy central that is the problem. Ok, maybe it's me. Anyway, you can click the link and watch the video. :P

EDIT 5 minutes later: I'm trying again. Wish me luck!



EDIT: 2 more minutes later: Yay! I'm a freaking genius! LOL! :D