An Evening With Heathens

Sunday evening my group, Morgantown Atheists, had an evening at the local UU church to talk about heaven and hell around the world throughout time. We had a good turnout, including a Christian and a WVU professor of history, both of whom had never been there before. We all thought it was rather funny that the heater had been turned on in the church sometime before, so it was 99°. At least it was a dry heat. So we were sort of practicing in case we were wrong.

One of our regular members, Jason, brought his wife, Alise, who is a Christian. I actually met Alise in the blogosphere when she wrote that excellent article awhile ago called Surviving a Conversation With An Atheist, about what stereotypical assumptions not to make when you talk to one of us. So it was really neat to meet her in person then go out to dinner afterward with everyone and talk a bit more.

Unfortunately we didn't do much more than scratch the surface of what Alise believes, but my main goal was to make sure she was welcome and that she had an opportunity to at least share what her church teaches. (I should also note, Alise is extremely well spoken and seemed perfectly capable of handling her own!) But sometime over coffee I'd love to know more about what Alise believes herself, which she says is "complicated".

Anyway, she sent me a message this morning saying that she had blogged about her evening out with us heathens and it was so well-written I wanted to share it with you. Here it is, in its entirety:

Heaven and Hell with Atheists
by Alise Write

I've been meaning to attend a meeting of the local atheist group with Jason for a while now, but I've been unable to make it work due to conflicting schedules. When he told me that the group was going to be discussing heaven and hell this week and in light of some of the reading I've been doing recently, I thought it would be interesting to go and see what these folks had to say (the 99 degree temperature in the church where we met was cause for much mirth throughout the evening!).

Soul Searching For Godless Heathens

I was recently asked about my worldview. Specifically I was asked what I find lacking in it. What do I see as flawed with it?

I've thought about this. I think by its very nature, my worldview is ideal for me. I don't see any flaws at all. But first, let's define it.

Worldview: 1. The overall perspective from which one sees and interprets the world. 2. A collection of beliefs about life and the universe held by an individual or a group.

So,  it's a very comprehensive set of beliefs about the world. And I'm very happy with the worldview I've thoughtfully developed. I will say it was a process, though, which is ongoing and, like all critical thinking, open to new information that can alter it.

Mine is based on Naturalism - a scientific account of the world in terms of causes and natural forces that rejects all spiritual, supernatural, or teleological explanations; Humanism - a progressive philosophy of life that, without theism and other supernatural beliefs, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity; and Nature - nature is awesome and humans are responsible for taking care of the world to the best of our ability, and to be humane to other living creatures.

In those respects, science is very important to me because it's how we understand and progress. Through science the Universe gets to know itself (rough paraphrase from my hero, Carl Sagan), and we get to know our world and everything in it, including ourselves.

Science isn't everything though. There's also humanity and what we have developed*, such as consciousness and cognition, justice, beauty, love, humaneness, compassion, morality, genius, and on and on. (*note that there are animals that have some consciousness and self awareness, which is amazing and awesome. It shows that we are on the far end of the continuum, but still connected and an integral part of the animal kingdom!)

My worldview has been cultivated and formed over my life, but especially in the last 10 years since I've become an atheist. In other words, I've really thought about this, it isn't something told to me by anyone. And I think that's important for finding that it's complete and comfortable for me.

I thought I'd turn the question over to you. What is your worldview and do you feel yours has any flaws in it that bother you, that you find missing or less than fulfilling?

I'm Being Prayed For!

A pastor in Ohio has taken it upon himself to add me and a bunch of  "lost" godless heathens from Facebook to his prayer wall on his website. Why? Well, remember the rescue of the Chilean miners? My friend Mark made a poster and posted it on Facebook:



I commented on the picture and said I was going to share it with my friends, which I did on my HDC Facebook page. The pastor, Jeff Bobb, took it upon himself to have his congregation pray for us by name and asks that we be prayed for every day, to bring us before the throne.

I was added to the list the last week of October and I have to admit I've had my doubts lately about Christ. And I've had a terrible pain in my neck when I try to sleep. I think it's working! I think I'm cured of this horrible atheist affliction!

Christmas Tree Nonsense

My friend AJ sent me this picture and I had to share it with you, after my brain stopped fizzling:



What is the reasoning here? "Let's celebrate the birth of our savior, but let's make sure we focus on his crucifixion at the same time? What would easter look like then? Would you have to mix holiday symbols there too?

Update: Here's the news story that explains the above image.

Of course, the bible mentions the "christmas" tree in the old testament, and they aren't too keen on it:

Jeremiah 10:2-4: "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not."

Are You Rapture Ready?

I found a site last week that I thought I really must share with you. It's called Rapture Ready. The page I really want to share is The Rapture Index, which apparently is "the prophetic speedometer of end-time activity".

With Sarah Palin and other fundie believers out there trying to bring on Armageddon, I figure this site is incredibly important.

There are numbers listed for 45 things like 1. False Christs, 29. Liberalism, and 38. Wild Weather. These numbers seem completely arbitrary. But according to the site at the time of this post, the Rapture Index is 165. That's a net change of +1 so you'd better be ready!

Now, as a godless heathen, I am pretty sure if the Rapture happens, I'll be left down here on Earth with all the cool people. Fun times will be had by all, and life will improve dramatically.

Of course, there is one small issue for Rapture Ready Fundies, though. Their pets! I'm sure you've heard of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets? These kindly atheists and heathens offer to take care of your pets when they get left behind and you go on to Jesus in Heaven.

What a noble cause. All I can say to that is why didn't I think of it!?

So, just because you're a godless heathen doesn't mean you can't prepare for the end-times. We know the fundies are working to make it happen in their lifetime. If it does, we have to be ready.

First we will have a fantastic party to celebrate. Then we can go loot all the stuff out of the True Christians' houses since they won't need it anymore. After that I guess we just get back to our lives, happier without all those pesky religious nuts trying to dictate legislation and force their god down our throats. Good Times, Good Times!

In Search Of Zingers

Inspiration comes from many sources. Today my mother told me that some jehovah's witnesses came a-calling and she wished she had some good, quick zingers to say to let them know she's a lost cause and they need to leave and never come back. I thought that was rather funny so I'm throwing it out to you.

If someone wants to proseletyze, what is a good, quick response to let them know they are dealing with a godless heathen who is a lost cause?

Please comment with your suggestions. Then I'll do another post with a nice neat list we can keep nearby for when someone wants to "tell us the good news". ;-)

Holy Jesus In A Little Plastic Cup! How Convenient!

The interweb is an amazing place. There's stuff out there that just leaves me speechless. Or makes me laugh. Or like this rare case, I do both at the same time. What a MIRACLE, people! I laughed and was speechless! The lord works in mysterious ways. Can I hear an AMEN?

I know you're wondering WTF I'm talking about. Well, I use Gmail. There's this bar at the top that I have customized to show RSS feeds about science, Formula One (racing), and a bit of news. It also shows occasional sponsored ads and Google news. Well I don't remember what I was looking at that inspired this sponsored link. I think it was a Facebook message.

And Lo, a light shone upon me, and Google told me about  Prefilled Communion Cups. Bread and Juice IN ONE CUP! Jesus, it's so freaking convenient! I may buy some just for snacking on the lord of hosts between meals. Maybe as a light dessert after a hedonistic meal of pulled pork BBQ sammies with extra melted provolone cheese and cole slaw?

I am up in the air about giving links. Do you want links? Do you need links to these christian stores? They're everywhere if you Google the term "prefilled communion cup"

Ok, one link because the name of the site is so awful and their description and picture is the best of the bunch. Kingdom.com ... ... ... get it? kingdom com(e)? HAHAHAHAHA

I wonder how much they paid for that domain name.

Anyway, I've added some pictures of these communion cups. Another thing I find hilarious is that the cups are made of  jeezits, I mean, crackers and grape juice. I don't have my bible in front of me, but I don't remember the son of god telling his posse to drink grape juice and eat crackers to be closer to him. I think it was good bread and a nice chianti that would let them eat his flesh and drink his blood?

Maybe I have it confused. I'm just a godless heathen after all.

I also wonder how easy it would be to open the jeezit pack. It looks small and awkward. I would feel so bad if I had shaky hands and spilled the lord on my best Sunday dress. And I know my dogs would fight over, and snatch up, the jeezit in a heartbeat if I dropped it on the floor.

At least the catholics make a nice presentation with communion. If somebody handed me a Convenient Lord & Savior In A Plastic Cup I'd lose it. Literally.